Berkeley resident and UC student Gil Hendricks returned last week from winter break to his apartment which, for unknown reasons, sort of smells vaguely like gas.
“I don’t know. Do you smell that?” Hendricks asked companions as he wandered through … Read More
An audible murmur passed through the audience at a recent screening of The Lord of the Rings when all four hundred moviegoers simultaneously realized that Hugo Weaving, playing Elrond in the fantasy screen adaptation, is the guy who played Agent … Read More
Leslie Carpenter, or Carpento-chan, as she is known among friends and online acquaintances, appreared at Santa Clara’s Fanime-Con “Der Cosplay” Masquerade event bearing a striking near-resemblance to the character Ayanami Rei from the popular Japanese anime Neon Genesis Evangelion. And … Read More
After an unsatisfying end to its military campaign, the Joint Chiefs of Staff have decided to replay the Afghanistan level.
“I thought the liberation of Kunduz would be a lot harder,” said Lieutenant John Toney. “But the ending was disappointing. … Read More
An FBI luncheon was spoiled this week when a masked thief made off with an entire cart of hamburgers, which were to serve as the entrees for the event. One eye witness described the suspect as “four feet tall, with … Read More
Flex Plan Bodybuilder Henry James, of Bowflex commercial fame, recently admitted to friends and family that his workout regiment, which maintains remarkably stiff quads, bulging pecs, and tantalizing abs, rarely includes 20 to 30 minutes on the Bowflex machine as … Read More
A needle was misplaced in a haystack earlier this week, setting the stage for a task which many liken to a very difficult thing to do.
“Yup. It’s lost in there and finding it is going to be like trying … Read More
Internet retail giant Amazon.com is wanted for questioning regarding the shipping of Anthrax through the mail, the FBI reported. Suspicions first arose last week when New York resident Tim Duggins was heard softly singing the lyrics to the thrash metal … Read More
Citizens of Kabul, Afghanistan were disheartened, yet again, upon learning they are not contenders to host the 2012 Olympics. The Olympic committee determined the facilities and citizens of Kabul could not possibly accommodate the needs of the summer games.
“We … Read More
In a study by the Classroom Health and Safety Board, it was discovered that 99.99% of people in front of chalk boards are not artists. The study was conducted by observing teachers and students attempting to draw various shapes, graphs, … Read More
