The Berkeley Art Museum hosted an exhibit by famed floral painter Georgia O’Keeffe, much to the delight of many patrons.

“It was amazing,” said musem goer Lance McCrory. “Her work is so realistic. I felt like I was walking through … Read More

A 10:00am meeting at Berkeley’s Ecology Law Center was spoiled earlier this week when it was discovered that all thirteen bagels purchased by intern Jenny Fialla tasted like onion. The culprit was allegedly a single onion bagel placed in the … Read More

Blah blah pro-life demonstration blah blah blah disturbing photographs blah blah controversy blah blah blah.

“Abortion is the really sickening thing, blah blah Jesus blah blah the Bible,” said some pro-life guy.

“Blah blah women’s rights blah blah blah,” said … Read More

Inspired by the success of its nonsensical “It doesn?t taste like apples” Apple Jacks ad campaign, the Kelloggs Marketing Division has announced the release of a brand new cereal which will be pushed by a similar campaign. The new cereal … Read More

Citing what it referred to as “a growing trend of unchecked redundancy,” the Berkely Chamber of Commerce issued an indefinite moratorium on all jokes likening “The Hair Professor” to an actual college professor. The measure was endorsed unanimously by the … Read More

Pillsbury announced the release of new “Ready to Eat” Cookies this week, the latest product in the company’s successful “Baking for Retards” product line. Unlike previous products such as “Ready to Bake” cookies, which consist or small cubes of dough … Read More

Flummoxed laundromat patron Wilson Davis has observed that when a designer label boasts its socks as being “High-Quality,” what they really mean is “These Socks Will Take For Fucking Ever To Dry.”

“Look at these,” extolled Davis as he held … Read More

Spurred by the popularity of the Daily Californian’s hand-sketched columnist portraits, the UC Police Department has hired Hirem Wollingsworth, the artist responsible for the drawings, to sketch suspects based on descriptions.

Although Wollingsworth eagerly accepted the position and has already … Read More

After nearly three decades, the anti-rape and domestic violence organization known as Take Back the Night has succeeded in reclaiming the hours between sundown and sunrise.

The transfer occurred after an official delegation from the Internation Brotherhood of Rapists and … Read More