Albacore tuna with dolphins has always been a favorite at the Limbaugh household. Granted it doesn’t pack the punch a steriod-enhanced piece of USDA beef does, but my friends, if you want protein and you want to kill those dolphins, … Read More
Tag Archives: feature
What They Say / What They Mean
“Did you come?”
“Because I didn’t.”
"I have something to tell you."
"Get tested."
"I'm a Romantic."
"I'm poor."
"I'll give you a call."
"I'd rather have my nipples torn."
"I never meant to hurt you."
"I thought you weren't Pre-date Checklist
- Money
- Birth control
- The Date Emergency Card (R)
- A good book
- Breath mints
- Penicillin
- A date
Well, that’s all kids. You’re on your own from here. We wish you the best of luck in all of your love endeavours. Always … Read More
Date Emergency Card
Date Emergency Card
Date’s Name ________________
My Name ________________
Blood type: A B D – O AB Cold
Conversation Topics for the Conversation – Impaired
Topic
"Say this in a polite even tone"
Culture
"Did you see 90210 The Writing on the Stall
A couple days ago, I read an entry on the rest room stalls that cried out in pain, “Help! I love my boyfriend but whenever we have sex, I always pretend that I’m with his best friend. I feel so … Read More
SEX: The Heuristic Squelch Interview
Heuristic Squelch: Welcome, Sex. I’m so glad you could take the time out of your busy schedule to talk to us.
Sex: Don’t mention it. I always have time to chat with a loyal follower.
HS: Thanks. So tell me, … Read More
Important Dates in History
Dating was invented accidentally by Ms. Grefrock Harding in the late 16th Century* as she was washing her father’s codpiece. As the jewel- encrusted accessory became more and more polished, Grefrock began to see her reflection. She was shocked. And … Read More
It Only Hurts the First Time
“Do you have the time to listen to me whine”
– some local punk
I think it finally hit me that something was amiss when I caught myself actually stalking Chancellor Tien on Tuesday. You see, we had come up … Read More
Lo-CAL Course Announcements
The University of California at Berkeley is proud to announce a new series of courses specifically designed for Stanford transfers, rear-entry students, football players, Llama-Americans or any students desiring an easier “A-“. The program has attracted some of the finest … Read More
English Majors: An Abomination Unto the Lord
Realize right now that your choices are limited when it comes to declaring a major. There are the geeky-freaky-neolithic-y sciences, math, etc. Then there are the social sciences, but I still don’t know exactly what a social science entails, and … Read More
