Tag Archives: feature

Volume 5- Issue 2

Important Dates in History

October 1, 1994

Dating was invented accidentally by Ms. Grefrock Harding in the late 16th Century* as she was washing her father’s codpiece. As the jewel- encrusted accessory became more and more polished, Grefrock began to see her reflection. She was shocked. And … Read More

Volume 5- Issue 2

Wet Shins & Other Sins

Confessions of a Piss Champ

October 1, 1994
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When I was a little kid scampering around the house, exhilarating bolts of urine saturating the crotch of my that-much-darker blue jeans, I’d dream of being the first unified world’s title piss champion. Even though my mom tried to get … Read More

Volume 5- Issue 2

Herb Came column

October 1, 1994
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Caught wind that some of you felt the last issue wasn’t “harsh enough.” Kudos to each and every one of you. All too many times my ideas and expressions get quashed because one or two of the editors can’t stomach … Read More

Volume 5- Issue 2

Raves

October 1, 1994
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Albacore tuna with dolphins has always been a favorite at the Limbaugh household. Granted it doesn’t pack the punch a steriod-enhanced piece of USDA beef does, but my friends, if you want protein and you want to kill those dolphins, … Read More

Volume 5- Issue 2

What They Say / What They Mean

October 1, 1994

“Did you come?”
“Because I didn’t.”

        "I have something to tell you."
        "Get tested."


        "I'm a Romantic."
        "I'm poor."


        "I'll give you a call."
        "I'd rather have my nipples torn."


        "I never meant to hurt you."
        "I thought you weren't
… Read More
Volume 5- Issue 2

Pre-date Checklist

October 1, 1994
  • Money
  • Birth control
  • The Date Emergency Card (R)
  • A good book
  • Breath mints
  • Penicillin
  • A date

Well, that’s all kids. You’re on your own from here. We wish you the best of luck in all of your love endeavours. Always … Read More

Volume 5- Issue 2

Date Emergency Card

October 1, 1994

Date Emergency Card

Date’s Name ________________

My Name ________________

Blood type: A B D – O AB Cold

Conversation Topics for the Conversation – Impaired

 

 

        Topic
        "Say this in a polite even tone"


        Culture
        "Did you see 90210
… Read More
Volume 5- Issue 1

Lo-CAL Course Announcements

September 1, 1994

The University of California at Berkeley is proud to announce a new series of courses specifically designed for Stanford transfers, rear-entry students, football players, Llama-Americans or any students desiring an easier “A-“. The program has attracted some of the finest … Read More