Realize right now that your choices are limited when it comes to declaring a major. There are the geeky-freaky-neolithic-y sciences, math, etc. Then there are the social sciences, but I still don’t know exactly what a social science entails, and … Read More
Tag Archives: feature
Gorillas In Our Midst
It was with great anticipation that I began my latest in-field study of the tribe of the KEG House. The last segment of my thesis on white decadent sub-cultures was to be brief, a mere day, but it enjoyed optimal … Read More
Short Conversations
“Do you masturbate?”
“Just socially.”
“We at CalPIRG are distributing these paper flyers to fight deforestation.”
“Stupid is as stupid does.”
“Fuck off Forrest.”
“Bless you my son.”
“Ooh! It’s sticky.”
“How do you compliment a North Carolinan?”
“I like … Read More
Another Saturday Night with Dave Barnett
I hate Saturday nights. They exist only as a reminder that life is not fair. Take last Saturday night for example. The day started out all right — I heard that there was going to be a party. A party!! … Read More
Building the Promise Photo Essay
maybe will have photos later
By now, you’ve probably noticed that every department on campus, with the possible exception of your own, seems to have a brand, spanking new or newly-refurbished building in which to hang its hat. Besides making the campus a more pleasant … Read More
Based on a collection of true stories…
One warm sunny day, I found myself walking through Sproul Plaza, on my way to Moffit, a cold D.C. waffle lump swimming in grease and then lounging comfortably in the pit of my stomach. I strolled past Jake, a Harvard … Read More
Ask Biff
A MALE perspective on everyday problems. Biff is not a licensed psychologist, but he is a charter member of Kappa Epsilon Gamma fraternity.
Dear Biff,
The other day I walked in on my son masturbating in his bedroom. I don’t … Read More
The Truth About…Income Tax
You may have never even thought twice about it, but the primary purpose of your federal income tax return is not to help the government make sure your have paid the correct amount of taxes for the year, but actually … Read More
Rob a Bank for the Regents
Stress invades the undergraduate life. Classes coalesce into a festering, many-tentacled ball of hate. School becomes a deceptively cute dog that bites you on the ass every time you turn your back. Where does it start? What influence from below … Read More
The Odd Couple
Roberto Lewis found the following written in blood on a dirty bedsheet when he moved into his dorm room this semester. The previous occupant apparently had left it behind. I hate my roommate. I relate the following so that one … Read More
