I have a special affection in my heart for Moffitt Library. The undergraduate library is, after all, the only place where we undergrads can lord our exclusivity over other groups. Often one can see skulking packs of low-browed and beady-eyed … Read More
Tag Archives: feature
Wouldn’t that be Cool?
When you’re watching the Oscars, and someone gives a really lame acceptance speech, do you ever wish you could be in the middle of the audience and just get up and say: “Good sir, I should compare your speech to … Read More
Ever Feel Smarter Than Your Professor?
It is standard in the life of any neurotic complainer to run out of personal flaws to foment over. When this happens, he casts his cynical gaze out at the world around him and continues his life of criticism. Scholars … Read More
Let’s make Iraq a State
Manifest Destiny III
In light of the controversy over recent developments in Iraq, not to mention controversy over recent “developments” in President Clinton’s pants, it has become increasingly obvious that the solution to the continuing Gulf Crisis will not be an easy one. … Read More
A Few Parting Words from the Top of the Bottom
As I approach the end of my college career, I’ve managed to achieve a certain sense of clarity. I don’t know why, exactly. I’d like to think that it’s because I’m maturing and learning as I age. I’d like to … Read More
Under the Bridge
An Electrical Engineering and Computer Science Major’s Epiphany
(More or less sung to the tune of Under the Bridge by the Red Hot Chili Peppers)
Sometimes I feel like I hate my lab partners.
Sometimes I feel like my only friend
Is the city I live in, the … Read More
Diary of an Average Joe at Haas
Hey! That’s not the title I wrote. Damm editor! And my name is David. How could you forget my name? I gave you the best years of my life. Don’t tell me you have forgotten Paris, that cafe, and that … Read More
1998 Gulf War interview
A Heuristic Squelch Exclusive
We at the Squelch, as part of our continuous efforts to, uhh, start war, have conducted small interviews with some of the key players in this conflict.
Squelch: let’s start with you Madeleine Albright. What’s your take on the situation?… Read More
The Trials of a Female Science Major
Being a female science major isn’t easy, or at least that’s what the Daily Cal keeps telling me. Actually, it is pretty tough. There are very few girls in my classes, so I have few people to discuss things like … Read More
Editors Note
We at the Squelch have received numerous complaints that last issue’s sorority girl jokes were raunchy and untrue, and merely accused them of being sluts. As part of a Squelch-wide move toward better investigative reporting, the editorial staff went out … Read More
