Best > place to get beaten up
For getting a trampling, the best place to go is the corner of Ashby and Sacramento. Busy enough for easy access yet remote enough for privacy, this bustling neighborhood is home to a … Read More
Tag Archives: feature
Point/Counterpoint
Our Dad’s New Girlfriend is Evil
Jesse and Jenny
Children
Dad, please, you’ve got to listen to us! I know you really like this new woman you’ve met, but please believe us when we tell you: she’s pure evil and … Read More
Words from the Top
It’s All Downhill From Here
No matter how much effusive praise gets heaped upon the staff of the Squelch, there remains an contingent of pessimistic naysayers whose critique of our latest issue inevitably consists of a disparaging shrug and the phrase “It’s not as funny … Read More
American Anecdotes
Now I’m sure you’re thinking “Here I am. America: Land
of Opportunity.” And that’s fine. Go on thinking that,
in your flashy Atlantic City sharkskin suits, with your pearly white teeth
and shiny Pontiac Sunfires. But say you’re thinking that, … Read More
Frequently Asked Questions: Berkeley
As a new student at Berkeley, you no doubt have a lot of questions. But
exactly what questions should you have? These questions.
Q: What does Berkeley have to offer me?
A: A top notch education, Hot Tubs at University … Read More
Clippit Goes to Work
In a small office on the 42nd floor of the Chrysler Building,
a paper clip standing 3 feet 7 inches walks in. He has two round googly eyes
and floating eyebrows. He’s walking on a piece of magical floating paper.… Read More
Road Trip? …More like RAD trip!
I couldn’t believe it when my friend Josh told me that a greedy developer
had bought his parents’ shopping center and was about to tear it down
to build lavish new low-income housing. We needed to raise a bunch of … Read More
Minor Hells
Everyone knows that Gluttons are torn apart by ‘Cerberus’s bloody
teeth,’ and the Violent boil in a River of Blood while being stabbed
by centaurs. But what is Hell for the Barely Evil? Like people who think
about putting in … Read More
Awkward Situations
A Man Trying to Learn His Partner’s Sexual History While in
the Heat of Passion
“Oh yeah, right there. That feels really good. Have you done this before?
What? No, I’m not insinuating anything, I just wanted to know if … Read More
Dreams Throughout History
Caveman times
U'tuck and I are out deer hunting but there's no deer and it's
late at night. U'tuck tells me that he has an idea but he can't
tell me until I push this big heavy rock over a 