Inside a REVIEW Editorial Meeting

SARAH: Okay, everybody, Erin is back from Wine and Cheese Palace so we can
start the meeting. Ryan, please read the minutes from the last meeting.

RYAN: Okay, discussion of old business, 5 minutes spent assigning articles.
Break to discuss Indie Rock in approving terms, although fearing for its
musical soul in the face of increasing commercialism. Remaining three hours
spent putting little injokes into the headline.

SARAH: Thank you, Ryan. New business: assigning articles. I understand Susan
here wants to write about her first Lesbian experience with an Indian woman,
so she’ll be reviewing The Country Bears.

SUSAN: Is it okay if I write it entirely in first-person Confessional style?

SARAH: Sure. How was the sex?

SUSAN: Poor.

SARAH: Then we’ll go with ‘Bears fails to satisfy’ as the
headline. Mike, can you handle Music Reviews this week?

MIKE: Fuck popular music! Fuck popular music! Fuck popular music!

SARAH: Perfect. Also, here’s the Obscure Words Bingo list this month.
Fit five in a row into a sentence, and you win a badly copied bootleg tape
of Thom Yorke humming ‘Like a Virgin’ ironically. Scott wins last
month’s prize of a Transformers robot with Bjork’s head for fitting
‘Prurient, Lachrymose, Proletariat,’ and ‘jejune’ in.

SCOTT: Thanks Sarah, but I gotta go. I’m interviewing an old but bright-eyed
artist making an obscure comeback after several small mid-70’s successes.

RYAN: (mutters) Lucky.

SCOTT: (teasing) Besides, Erin brought a ’97 LaTour when everyone knows
that the only ’97 Merlots worth drinking came from Australia.

SARAH: And those were Shirazs! (general laughter)

ERIN: (defensively, angrily) Well, at least I’m not wearing Calvin Klein
multi-weave white socks! You– POSEUR!

(shocked silence)

SARAH: (softly) Lets not say things we can’t take back.

ERIN: (sobbing) I’m sorry.. I’ve just been under so much stress–
my new boyfriend keeps taking me to these wide-release movies and asking
me if I like them. I tell him they’re great, but inside I’m just
crying. I’m just crying.

SARAH: (hugs) I think we need to take a break. Good meeting, everybody.

SCOTT: Hey, we all wore Atari t-shirts again. That’s so weird.