I’ve had enough of all this war-mongering scientific rhetoric. After countless science lectures, I now see the blatant attempts to mask the eroticism inherently existing on the micro scale. Rather than expose our minds to the naked… Read More
SCENE 1 JUNIOR HIGH CAFETERIA
Cindy: OK, now you have to tell me who you like.
Laura: Well, you know that guy in our history class GAA Sean Keane?
Cindy: Eeew GAA Sean Keane?
Laura: No, … Read More
In an effort to restore peace and stop world hunger, Squelch researchers have rigorously tested the original Nintendo Duck Hunt Gun. We hope our research will give us a better understanding of its mystical powers. To those unfamiliar with the … Read More
Ye’d ne’er believe how very mooch it hurts te slam yer delicate doock head inte a solid sea o’ gold coins. More’n a wee bit, Ah kin tell ye that mooch. Ah’m in an ache from spatz te noggin. … Read More
Shoppers witnessed a dairy disaster at a local Safeway yesterday when the Yoplait section got out of control. “Several Mixed Berries ventured into the Custard zone and a riot broke out,” detective Nick Lombardi said. Among the … Read More
More than thirty Alameda County judicial officials stormed into a BAMN meeting last Tuesday, completely disrupting the proceedings. After being told that they would get their turn to speak, a cry arose from the crowd of judges, bailiffs… Read More
Metallica showed up at Live 105 headquarters today to drop off four truck loads of the names and license plate numbers of local Bay Area commuters caught listening to their songs over the radio.
“Apparently kids today own … Read More
A spokesman for Milton Bradley reported a dramatic plunge in sales of their popular game Battleship in the greater Moscow area. The sales decline, along with the arrival of the millenium edition of Don’t Break the Ice!, threatens… Read More
I’ve never told anyone this before, but I can’t keep it bottled up any longer. Sometimes, while sitting in my higher math class taking careful notes on the insane ramblings of the wild crazy bearded man at… Read More
Whitney Houston once sang, “I believe that children are the future/ Teach them well and let them lead the way.” True, she also later said, “I believe that Bobby Brown’s recording career has a future,” but that… Read More
