Alameda County Judges Upset BAMN Meeting

More than thirty Alameda County judicial officials stormed into a BAMN meeting last Tuesday, completely disrupting the proceedings. After being told that they would get their turn to speak, a cry arose from the crowd of judges, bailiffs, and court reporters: “Whose BAMN?? Our BAMN!! Whose BAMN?? Our BAMN!!”

“They totally made a mockery of the meeting process,” said a BAMN member, speaking under condition of anonymity. “It’s like they don’t have any respect for the system.”

Oakland judge Harmon Wantanamo retorted, “We have to show them that we’re not going to take their shit anymore. They’re either part of the solution or part of the problem. I say problem.”

After shouting repetitive, rhyming slogans, the officials were escorted out of the building, only to return minutes later. This time, after more shouting, sprinkled with obscenities, the officials ran around the meeting room and stole all of the refreshments. “I don’t know what makes me madder,” said BAMN-ite Ruben Oliva. “The fact that they disrupted the meeting so severely, or that they took my jelly doughnut.”