- Na Gadda Da Vida
- Cognito
- Woolly mammoth’s belly
- Spite of your dying wishes.
- Styyyyle
- Plaid
- Bacon
- The body of a slightly larger, equally dead man
- Multiple suitcases
- A suitcase
Author Archives: The Squelch
Virginia
Land of Dreams
Prologue:
The sun was barely peeking over our rugged eastern foothills when I left
this fair state, bound for a land where the lush green countryside collides
with the glimmering ocean and the bourbon flows like wine. That land is Guy With Nut Allergy Has Trouble Selling Nut Allergy Movie Idea
Bay Area paralegal and nut allergic Nathan Tholom continues to be frustrated by the lack of interest in his idea for a movie centering around nut allergies.
“It would be about this guy, who’s allergic to nuts,” explained Tholom to … Read More
Why English is the Best Language Ever!
Look, I’m sure you don’t need a whole lot of convincing. We all
know English is the linguistic top dog (not to be confused with the Linguica
Top Dog). But just in case there’s any confusion, here’s how English
stacks … Read More
Inside a REVIEW Editorial Meeting
SARAH: Okay, everybody, Erin is back from Wine and Cheese Palace so we can
start the meeting. Ryan, please read the minutes from the last meeting.
RYAN: Okay, discussion of old business, 5 minutes spent assigning articles.
Break to discuss … Read More
Top Ten Pirate Pickup Lines
- “Is there an ‘X’ on the seat of your pants? Because there’s wond’rous booty buried underneath!”
- “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre you free on Saturday?”
- “Yo, ho! Bottle of rum?”
- “Do you have the latest copy of Windows XP with cracked product activation?” (software
Top Five Movies Featuring Internet Constructions
- www.geocities.com/ SunsetStrip/ Bedroom/9029/
- swimfan69IM mefordirtypre teenlolitasex rapebondage fisting@aol.com
- feardotorg.net
- swimfan85@aol.com
- feardotcom.com
Top Ten Reasons You’re Hanging Upside Down
- Turning frown upside down
- Y’ain’t got no neck
- Hiccups
- You just invented a new language in which “upside down” means “curtains.”
- To protect yourself from that one serial killer who only kills right-side-uppies.
- You’re a dyslexic bat in bizarro land
Top Ten Pornographic Summer Movies (About Cereal)
- Road to Nutrition (director’s cut)
- Monsoon Gangbang Chex
- Halloween Resur-erection Crunch
- The Cum of All Nutritional Fears
- My Big Fat-Free Greek Orgy
- Special K-19: The Widowfucker
- Divine Secretions of the Mueslix Sisterhood
- The Scorpion Cheeri-O-Ring
- Austin Plow-her in Goldmember Grahams
Top Ten Tang Center Pamphlets
- Love Shouldn’t Suck
- Making Sex Dangerouser
- Motherfuck Your Regular Insurance: $79.99 for a month of Claritin
- Jesus Christ, Not Chlamydia Again
- What to Do With Pamphlets When You Come in With a Broken Arm
- So You Lost Another Fucking Gold
