Quite a Lot of Words from the Top

February 1, 1998

The Future: even in our scientifically advanced society, it is still a daunting prospect. As we enter the 21st century (and I refuse to believe it will be via a bridge, especially not one built by some pasty Arkansas cracker … Read More

Volume 7- Issue 4

ASUC Squabble Solved

February 1, 1998

newsflash, Steve Weiss

The intervention of professional wrestler Randy “Macho Man” Savage was needed to settle a dispute between ASUC executive officials Sanjeev Bery and Lee Fink on Friday.

Wielding a steel folding chair, Savage came to the aid of Bery, ASUC external … Read More

Volume 7- Issue 4

Pimps are from Mars, Hos are from Venus

February 1, 1998

Ben Birken, feature, Kandy Mahn

Ever wonder about other people? Do you have a lot of questions about that guy standing over there? Or maybe that girl – you know, the one with the nose? We pretty much have all the answers, but we don’t … Read More

Volume 7- Issue 4

Cal NERDs Aim Virtual Sights High

February 1, 1998

feature, Sean Keane

BERKELEY, CA – Unknown to most Berkeley students is the secret underground supercomputing facility hidden below the dining commons. Here, industrious computer science students are working around the clock to find the Pamela Anderson sex tapes and “kick a lot … Read More

Volume 7- Issue 4

Fight for Cal Cheerleaders

(sung to the tune of Fight for California)

February 1, 1998

feature

I jump and I spin
I suuure hope Cal wins,
I’m in my tights, and in my sweats
And this tight top reveals my breasts

I don’t know the sport,
I dooon’t know the score
But I’m a Ca-al cheerleader… Read More

Volume 7- Issue 4

Top One Kenyon Jones Facial Expression

February 1, 1998

top ten

That one that he does about 50 times a game, either after he has fallen down again or when he’s being taken out for screwing up. Again. And again. And again. For Christ sakes, get up Kenyon!!

Volume 7- Issue 4