- Top Ten Signs Your Lasik Surgery has Gone Horribly Wrong
- Top Ten Ways to the Annoy Host at the Adult Video Awards
- Top Ten Best or Worst Sexually Transmitted Diseases
- Top Ten Words to Follow the Phrase “Go-Go Gadget”
- Top
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- Eman-on-mancipation Proclamation
- Sperman’s March
- Assomatix
- Carpet Baggers … hehehehehehehehe heh
- Analham Lincoln
- Robert E. Pee
- Jefferson Gay-vis
- Ulysses Grant … with a boner
- Stoneballs Jackson
- Tittiesburg
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- Hard to give service number while wearing ball gag
- You ask to speak to her supervisor and she digs her heel into your scrotum
- A lot of instructions involve pouring hot wax on yourself
- Tells you to bend over and
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- Laser Penis
- Want to time it so you cum right when Emeril says Bam!
- TrimSpa commercial only 30 seconds long
- You’re fourteen years old and x, where x is anything
- Because you sure as hell don’t want to eat that
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- Fuck Ayoob
- Mr. Potato Head, in microwave
- Fuck Ayoob
- Fuck Ayoob
- Fuck Ayoob
- Fuck Ayoob
- Fuck Ayoob
- Author of all those scanner movies and it’s irony day
- Forgot to chew gum while plane was taking off
- Neck timer nearing zero
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- A male wookie
- Robin Williams
- Three ewoks standing on each other’s shoulders
- Shag carpeting
- A throw rug
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- Just tell the little fucker to Google it
- Additional instruction on removing your spiky shoulder pads and unitard
- Exactly as you would do it today, BUT YOU’RE IN THE MATRIX
- What, you’re telling me you don’t know how to use
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- Moving OUT of New Orleans
- Sticking head in easy bake oven
- Throwing self in front of inactive volcano
- Hanging self with bungee cord
- Killing someone else
- Slitting wrists w/ electric razor
- Jumping off large building onto less large building
- OD
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- Cheated on you with your sister … who’s been dead for 15 years
- Spices up sex with strawberries, syrup, and cow brains
- id software keeps asking him to come in for some motion-capture sessions
- Picnic in cemetery on first date,
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- Stuck in the superdome in the rain
- Mushrooms
- When was anyone gonna tell me what an Ethiopian steak was?
- It’s the only thing that goes with this wine
- Took the pet name muffin too far
- Bastard ate your last slice
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