- …you wanna Minute Man?
- …who needs liberty when you’ve got libido?
- …wanna get tarred and feathered?
- …I’m into life, liberty, and the pursuit of a good piece of ass.
- …the British are coming, so why ain’t we?
- …you’re suspected for
… Read More
- Schindler’s Lick
- In the Body Cavity of the Father
- Ace Ventura: Pet Molester
- The Age of Touching Yourself
- Who’s Eating Gilbert Grape
- The Ladsucker Proxy
- The Joy Suck Club
- Long Cuts
- Reality Nibbles
- Six Degrees of Masturbation
… Read More
- “Tastes great” / “Less filling”
- To provide the inspiration for the Franklin Mint(tm) Civil War Chess
Set.
- So that white men could only exploit women and animals.
- The North was feeling rejected.
- The devil made us do it.
- Oil. (oops,
… Read More
- Players’ inability to count led them to believe that they were in fact ahead.
- Unanimous decision made by players to spend more time on schoolwork.
- Team was paid off by Clinton administration so that Arkansas would win.
- Death of John
… Read More
- In the stall of any public restroom.
- In your sleep.
- During any job interview.
- Right now (go ahead, don’t be shy).
- At the end of a sad movie.
- When trying to attract women in a singles’ bar.
- When lifting your
… Read More
- Fear of angry, hungry urban youth with goatees.
- Drivers beaten by aggressive Vegans.
- No tips from homeless.
- No tips from starving students.
- Police escort necessary for home deliveries.
… Read More
- A great photo opportunity
- The contents of Al Capone’s vault
- Cheese- mounds and mounds of cheese
- Dirt and rocks
- Dirt
… Read More
- Stay home
- Ride RTD buses (who are we kidding?).
- Transporter beam
- Personal helicopter
- Commute once a week instead of daily
- Telecommute
- Take the Red Line subway (all 3 miles of it!)
- Take the Metrolink and relax in comfort and style
… Read More
- Sit on the ASUC steps during school time and mope
- Wear a really ugly hat
- Make smoking gestures and blow in the cool night air
- Clip on bellybutton ring
- Dye your hair yellow/orange
… Read More
- “Mmmm… ohhh… mmmm… do it baby…”
- “Would you like to go to Bible study?”
- “No. You really don’t want that class. Oh, no!“
- “Aquarius: You will enter into a long-term commitment today. Assess your strengths and wea
- “Your registration
… Read More
