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Wanna hear a good joke? There are three guys on a plane, a Black, a Jew, and an Italian…
Shit, we’re out of wiper fluid!
You guys ever see “Fearless” with that Jeff Bridges guy?
Stewardess, another Scotch please.
I … Read More
Your RA.
Pretend you are a narc.
Call (900) numbers.
Telekinesis.
Square dancing.
Snort Dipsticks and run around on a sugar high.
Pet-sitting for police drug sniffing dogs.
Sniffing others’ clothes after they return from Co-op party.
Virtual kegger.
Get … Read More
Slantana
Raw Phish
Too Short (you know, the rapper?)
Pearl Harbor Jam
Sushi and the Banshees
Snoop Doggy Dogg-eater
KimCheecago
Rice-Cube
Screaming Bonsais
Toyota the Wet Sprocket
… Read More
A sober woman
Act I/Act II movie theater
The Blue Oyster
Robert Mapplethorpe exhibit
Cesar Chavez rally
… Read More
Interracial marriages between red and yellow dwarves.
Used to work in Crayola(tm) factory before chocolate factory.
They have ingested too many carrots (usually orally, but not always).
What the hell’s an Oompa Loompa?
They eat goldfishes.
… Read More
“Calgon, take me away!”
“Damn, but don’t he look like Charles Manson?”
“I’ll bet you twenty bucks he rises from the dead.”
“Hey man, can you do that `water into wine’ bit right now? We’re all kind of thirsty.
“Jesus … Read More
…you wanna Minute Man?
…who needs liberty when you’ve got libido?
…wanna get tarred and feathered?
…I’m into life, liberty, and the pursuit of a good piece of ass.
…the British are coming, so why ain’t we?
…you’re suspected for … Read More
Schindler’s Lick
In the Body Cavity of the Father
Ace Ventura: Pet Molester
The Age of Touching Yourself
Who’s Eating Gilbert Grape
The Ladsucker Proxy
The Joy Suck Club
Long Cuts
Reality Nibbles
Six Degrees of Masturbation
… Read More
“Tastes great” / “Less filling”
To provide the inspiration for the Franklin Mint(tm) Civil War Chess
So that white men could only exploit women and animals.
The North was feeling rejected.
The devil made us do it.
Oil. (oops, … Read More
Players’ inability to count led them to believe that they were in fact ahead.
Unanimous decision made by players to spend more time on schoolwork.
Team was paid off by Clinton administration so that Arkansas would win.
Death of John … Read More
