- Kick the ball through the invisible goal posts just to the right of the visible ones
- Jump, Jive, and Wail
- Fuck up Lucy’s shit
- Cunnilingus
- Pick his nose
- Break Dance
- Play Starcraft (with his toes!)
- Binge drink
- Jacks
- Racquetball
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- All the benefits of bulimia without staining your teeth.
- No need for leeches.
- A tapeworm is man’s second best friend.
- If you’re Jewish, you can eat pork.
- Cheaper than getting reamed.
- Tapeworms are recordable, unlike CD worms.
- Not as bad
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- Scratch ‘n sniff Cal offensive line
- Origami
- Always QuickWrap<sup>TM</sup>
- CalPIRG rant
- Turkey sandwich (mmmmmm….)
- Place to wipe boogers
- MCAT answers
- More “No Exit” cartoons
- Stolen credit card numbers
- Doodle square
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- Polyphetus
- Saddest Motherfucker Alive
- The Fine-Ass Cal Cheerleader
- The Sascrotch
- The Peg-your-sis
- Medusa Oblongata
- The Sphinxter
- The Centard
- The Eunuchorn
- The Leperchaun
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- Huey Foot-Long
- Sinatra Frank
- Snoop Dog
- Cute Little Baby Harp Seal
- Olestra Dog (with extra anal leakage)
- 1 Can’t Believe it’s Not Top Dog
- Snausages
- Irish Terrier
- Lewinsky-wurst (with filling)
- Pig Intestine Stuffed with Snouts-n-Hooves
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- Courtney, ’cause she’s a dirty whore
- Any Human Biodynamics Major
- KenJowitt
- Al Gore
- Ram Man
- Nebraska
- Milton Bradley
- TheNRA
- We do, bitch.
- Deep Blue
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- Corruptus Cristi
- Who’s Afraid of Molly Hooper?
- Twelfth Night of Yelling at Each Other and Accomplishing Nothing
- Gross Inactivity
- Rats
- How I Failed at Everything Without Really Trying
- Death of a Spitfire
- Jesus Christ, Megalomaniac
- Irami on the Roof
- Waiting
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- Regis and Kenny G
- Good Morning Canada
- World’s Scariest Julia Herriges Columns
- Make Me Cry
- Viva Monotony
- This Week in Nosepicking
- America’s Most Horrific Beaver Disembowelments
- Win Ben Stein’s Stash
- When Ducks Attack
- That’s Impossible!
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- Frasier
- The C+ Team
- OJ’s House
- Molested by an Angel
- Me and My Syphilitic Uncle
- The Good Samaritans
- The Corey and Corey Show
- The Corey Haim Show
- The Corey Feldman Show
- Three Washed-Up Actors and a Child Star
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- Red Bull
- Virgin Cola
- Gravity in a Can
- Plasma clouds
- Mexican Pizza
- The Infinite Dress
- Windows 98
- The wheel
- The Electric Goo Razor
- Hard Jeans
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