Top Ten Advantages of Having a Giant Tapeworm

  1. All the benefits of bulimia without staining your teeth.
  2. No need for leeches.
  3. A tapeworm is man’s second best friend.
  4. If you’re Jewish, you can eat pork.
  5. Cheaper than getting reamed.
  6. Tapeworms are recordable, unlike CD worms.
  7. Not as bad as having a razor-wire worm.
  8. You can measure stuff really easily.
  9. Smaller bowel movements.
  10. You can drive in the carpool lane whenever you want.