Warning : Trying to access array offset on value of type bool in /services/http/users/s/squelch/wp-content/plugins/search-everything/config.php on line 29 top ten | The Heuristic Squelch
“I’m gonna make sure that your bat mitzvah is one to remember.”
“Do you like bondage? By the way, I’m a rabbi.”
“I like my pussy like I like my matzo: free of yeast.”
“I’d take you to Palestine for … Read More
You Are the Walrus
[Four minutes of Ike Turner rambling incoherently]
Roxanne (or Whatever Your Name Was)
Don’t Fear the Reaper, Fear Your Husband
D-I-S-R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Baby, You Can’t Drive My Car (No, Really, You Can’t)
Black Eye of the Tiger … Read More
“Damn Yolanda, you must be a quantum singularity, because I’m drawn to your black hole.”
“You’re like a carbon molecule, ’cause every part of me wants to bond with you.”
“I’m like Schroedinger’s cat, because every time you look at … Read More
You just killed the Yearling; didn’t want to dig two holes
For your sins
To prevent a sequel
Sudden appearance of New Yeller
Knew too much
… Read More
Extremely mild leukemia
Spooning a bear
Dehydration from relentless oral sex
Metaphorically
Being shot in a Brookstone massage chair
Eaten by toothless dinosaur
Choking on feathers
A car accident, while reclining and drinking a non-poisonous beer
Drinking a poisonous beer … Read More
“My daddy left home when I was three / He came back home later that day, but still”
“Because you’re mine / I walk across the street when instructed by the sign”
“Daddy sang bass / Other daddy sang tenor” … Read More
African American Studies 11/Latin American Studies 9 (cross-listed): Why You’re Too Lazy to Steal
Comparative Literature 2: Chaucer’s Revenge
Physics 142C: The Physics of Cum Trajectory
Landscape Architecture 39H: You Don’t Have to Take My Word for It, You KNOW … Read More
Sambi
Aladdin Jones
Finding Nee-fro
The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh and This Huge Black Guy Who Hates White People
Snow Honkey and the Seven Jive Turkeys
The Foxy Bitch and the Hound
Black Beauty and the Beast
The … Read More
The Magic of Reading
Contracting HIV but maintaining a high T-cell count
Removing grape juice from a carpet with Oxy-Clean
Turning a half-full glass of water into a half-empty glass of water
Levitating a Hovercraft
Reading your own mind
Unzipping … Read More
Peter, Paul, and Mary (the Ones from the Bible)
The Chemical-free Brothers
Guns N’ Moses
Nirvana…Does Not Exist
Green Day That the Lord Hath Made
Three Wise Men at Work
Not-so-bad Religion
John 3:11
Burning Bush
Ozzy Osbourne Again
… Read More
