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Margarinefinger
Michael and Ike
Mars (the Roman God, Not the Candy)
Whatchamacallit Smith
Pseud&M’s
… Read More
Extremely mild leukemia
Spooning a bear
Dehydration from relentless oral sex
Metaphorically
Being shot in a Brookstone massage chair
Eaten by toothless dinosaur
Choking on feathers
A car accident, while reclining and drinking a non-poisonous beer
Drinking a poisonous beer … Read More
“My daddy left home when I was three / He came back home later that day, but still”
“Because you’re mine / I walk across the street when instructed by the sign”
“Daddy sang bass / Other daddy sang tenor” … Read More
African American Studies 11/Latin American Studies 9 (cross-listed): Why You’re Too Lazy to Steal
Comparative Literature 2: Chaucer’s Revenge
Physics 142C: The Physics of Cum Trajectory
Landscape Architecture 39H: You Don’t Have to Take My Word for It, You KNOW … Read More
Sambi
Aladdin Jones
Finding Nee-fro
The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh and This Huge Black Guy Who Hates White People
Snow Honkey and the Seven Jive Turkeys
The Foxy Bitch and the Hound
Black Beauty and the Beast
The … Read More
The Magic of Reading
Contracting HIV but maintaining a high T-cell count
Removing grape juice from a carpet with Oxy-Clean
Turning a half-full glass of water into a half-empty glass of water
Levitating a Hovercraft
Reading your own mind
Unzipping … Read More
Peter, Paul, and Mary (the Ones from the Bible)
The Chemical-free Brothers
Guns N’ Moses
Nirvana…Does Not Exist
Green Day That the Lord Hath Made
Three Wise Men at Work
Not-so-bad Religion
John 3:11
Burning Bush
Ozzy Osbourne Again
… Read More
BeTwix’t Her Legs
3 Muskydikes
5th Avenue…Where Two Women Are Currently Eating Each Other’s Vaginas
Snickers from Normal People
Ani DiFranco Acoustic Guitar Symphony Bar
O Henrietta!
Skor (with Women)
Mounds
Klit Kat
Butchy Ruth
… Read More
A Brazilian Lacrosse Team Jacks Off on Lyndon LaRouche’s Face
Moderated Masturdebates: The 90-second Rebuttal
Cock the Vote
Teabagging the Carpetbagger: A Night with Alan Keyes
Big Swinging Caucuses
Only Bob Dole’s Right Arm Is Limp
The Erectoral College
Hung … Read More
You Are the Walrus
[Four minutes of Ike Turner rambling incoherently]
Roxanne (or Whatever Your Name Was)
Don’t Fear the Reaper, Fear Your Husband
D-I-S-R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Baby, You Can’t Drive My Car (No, Really, You Can’t)
Black Eye of the Tiger … Read More
