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I Am Toucan Sam
Creamer vs. Creamer
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Tomorrow
An iPod having sex with a TiVo
Cordless telegrams
A toilet that applauds
The World’s Fair
A Star Trek laserdisc
The Moon
Neon
Lazer Tag
A rectangle with rounded corners
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“I’m seeing U.N. me getting it on, IMFing you from behind, and NAFTA we can get some breakfast. Just don’t give me USAIDs.”
“What’s the point of going to college when you can get a B.A. in Poli Sci?”
“All … Read More
“So you’re a psychologist, eh? Well, what am I thinking right now?”
“I’m that father figure you’ve always been looking for.”
“You can put away the bell, I’m already drooling.”
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Chasing Bob Barker’s car
After riding bus everywhere, flipping it over
Driving the speed limit
Pinching cheek right off baby
Answering every Jeopardy! question with “Where is meth?”
Buying roughly usual amount of Sudafed
Remembering FDR, while taking meth
Writing … Read More
Young Polite Bastard
MC Carthy
Shoop Dogg
Da Segregated
5 Cent
Gladys Knight and the Crips
Ice Boxx
Desi Arnizzle
Buddy Holla
Bling Cro$by
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Thor
Marrying, contrary to Thor’s wishes
Having oral sex with a guy
Dressing up as Viqueens
Designing new window treatments for Valhalla
Swilling mug of Appletini
Spelling names “Erik” and “Leif”
Pillaging little decorative animal sculptures
Raping women for sport, … Read More
“I’m gonna make sure that your bat mitzvah is one to remember.”
“Do you like bondage? By the way, I’m a rabbi.”
“I like my pussy like I like my matzo: free of yeast.”
“I’d take you to Palestine for … Read More
You Got Served Bad Meat
Get Shorty’s Tapeworm out Before He Dies
Eat Drink Man Woman
Weekend in Bernie
I’m Eating Gilbert Grape
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The Little Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe and Had Pubic Lice
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Smells Like Fish
Where the Wild Things Are: Your Crotch
The HIV-giving Tree
Herp on Pop
Goldilocks and the Three Bears, … Read More
