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The thing where you spin around the baseball bat and then run your ass off
“A drunk driver says what?”
Reaching the fourth world of Super Mario 3 without using the raccoon tail
Bribing the officer…test
Setting the drunk driver … Read More
Promising Ten But Delivering Nine
Putting a Handkerchief in a Young Madam’s Bosom
Putting Things Where They Ought Not Be
Being an Utter Hooligan
Putting Spirits in Ginger Ale
Putting Dijon Mustard on a Hot Cross Bun
Whitewash-related Fibbing
Tying … Read More
Clark Kent: The Ride
House of Opaquely Dirty Mirrors
Indiana Jones Archaeological Dig Adventure
Thomas Moore’s Autopia
Tunnel of Hesitant Mutual Attraction
Mr. Toad’s Wild Bench
The Ed Harriswheel
The Doesn’t Matterhorn
Bummer Cars
Emotional Rollercoaster
… Read More
To impress the bear’s girlfriend
You thought it was a cougar
You assumed the forest gave you home-court advantage
It took your pic-inic basket
… Read More
Eggbeater
Feminism
Fake drowning and a CPR class
Fishing pole with baby food on it
Macgyver
Specially trained hamster
Bernoulli’s Principle
Turkey baster full of chili oil
Two days, a TLC camera crew, and $1000
Abstinence and a time machine … Read More
Smoking a cigarette after nothing
Picnic in Lonely People’s Park
Half a Luther Vandross album
Seeing Sartre’s No Exit
Dinner plus silent film for silent evening
Candlelit masturbation
You and me and the bottle minus you plus another bottle makes … Read More
I Am Toucan Sam
Creamer vs. Creamer
… Read More
Tomorrow
An iPod having sex with a TiVo
Cordless telegrams
A toilet that applauds
The World’s Fair
A Star Trek laserdisc
The Moon
Neon
Lazer Tag
A rectangle with rounded corners
… Read More
“I’m seeing U.N. me getting it on, IMFing you from behind, and NAFTA we can get some breakfast. Just don’t give me USAIDs.”
“What’s the point of going to college when you can get a B.A. in Poli Sci?”
“All … Read More
“So you’re a psychologist, eh? Well, what am I thinking right now?”
“I’m that father figure you’ve always been looking for.”
“You can put away the bell, I’m already drooling.”
… Read More
