All your leeches are dead
Your ears are so stopped up it sounds like the doctor keeps saying “cancer”
Tums cause you to explode
Your throat is so sore you don’t even want to eat brains anymore
It’s autographed
Ebola-ridden … Read More
The thing where you spin around the baseball bat and then run your ass off
“A drunk driver says what?”
Reaching the fourth world of Super Mario 3 without using the raccoon tail
Bribing the officer…test
Setting the drunk driver … Read More
Promising Ten But Delivering Nine
Putting a Handkerchief in a Young Madam’s Bosom
Putting Things Where They Ought Not Be
Being an Utter Hooligan
Putting Spirits in Ginger Ale
Putting Dijon Mustard on a Hot Cross Bun
Whitewash-related Fibbing
Tying … Read More
Clark Kent: The Ride
House of Opaquely Dirty Mirrors
Indiana Jones Archaeological Dig Adventure
Thomas Moore’s Autopia
Tunnel of Hesitant Mutual Attraction
Mr. Toad’s Wild Bench
The Ed Harriswheel
The Doesn’t Matterhorn
Bummer Cars
Emotional Rollercoaster
… Read More
To impress the bear’s girlfriend
You thought it was a cougar
You assumed the forest gave you home-court advantage
It took your pic-inic basket
… Read More
Eggbeater
Feminism
Fake drowning and a CPR class
Fishing pole with baby food on it
Macgyver
Specially trained hamster
Bernoulli’s Principle
Turkey baster full of chili oil
Two days, a TLC camera crew, and $1000
Abstinence and a time machine … Read More
Ctrl-Alt-Del not working
Town’s just one long dead-end drive since the factory closed down, so maybe it’s time to pack up your lucky hat and suitcase full of dreams and hit the road like the young guys says they should, … Read More
S’mears
Trickle-down Fecalnomics
Runny Butt
Shits Lite!
Hershey’s Wet Kisses
A Visit from Uncle Flowseph
Anal Seepage
Guatemalan Water Torture
Bizarro Period
Dressing the Salad
… Read More
Audioslavery
New Kids on the Auction Block
Men at Work for No Pay
2/5 Less Than Jake
Jefferson Davis Airplane
Men Without Hats…or Freedom
Godspeed You! Former Black Emperor Running North
The Dandy Civilwarhols
Colored Me Badd
The Velvet Underground … Read More
I Am Toucan Sam
Creamer vs. Creamer
… Read More
