Moving out on my own for the first time has opened up a whole new weird, wild world to me. My mommy isn’t here any longer to give me cookies and warm milk at night, the magic laundry fairies have … Read More
Tag Archives: feature
Human Sexuality 34.5:
Relationship Field Seminar Syllabus
Instructor: Dr. Vincent Agina
Office: -169+AY Dwinelle
Office Hours: Sunday 3:30a.m-3:35a.m Feb. 29, 1983
This course is a practical field of study of the art of relationships. students will be expected to start a relationship on week one.
WEEK 1:… Read More
Ah, The Films Of The 80’s…
Ahh, those were the days. It feels like just yesterday I could stroll into any local video store, point myself towards the screwball comedy section, and get a warm mushy feeling in my stomach as I perused the latest offerings … Read More
Ker-plunk!
We’ve all been there, the pressure building up. The only thing in your mind is the sweet feeling of relief when the deed is done. But at what costs, such great innumerable costs, almost too terrifying to discuss. Yes, we’ve … Read More
My Life in the Movies
Lately, it’s become harder and harder for me to differentiate the real world from the fantasy world projected by movies. This is an account; a collection of memoirs, if you will, that shows this inseparable relationship between movies and my … Read More
Mike Tyson
A Heuristic Squelch Interview
Heuristic Squelch: Thank you, Mr. Tyson, for generously agreeing to do this interview.
Mike Tyson: It’s a pleasure, Squelch.
MT: Are you hungry?
MT: Urn, no,
HS: Are you sure?
MT: Yeah, I’m sure. Why?
HS: Well, I just wouldn’t … Read More
The Chelsea Diaries
Proving once again that Cat is better than Stanford, three unnamed Cat students recently infiltrated the Stanford campus, getting past the bullet-proof windows of Chelsea Clinton’s dorm and stealing her underwear. The operation, named the Presidential Panty Raid (or PPR … Read More
Short Conversations
“Why do you know all the apes?”
“It’s what I do.”
“It’ll be real quick.”
“Oh, all right. I’ll bring a book.”
“Is it feti?”
“No, fetuses will be fine.”
“I fell in love last night at Davis.”
“Nah, that … Read More
Spice girl Interview
Squelch : Hello, girls.
Baby Spice : I was a playboy model.
Squelch : Woah, we’re not there yet. I’d like to find out how the four of you first got interested in music.
Fifth Spice : Theh’s five of … Read More
An Opposing Viewpoint
Some of our readership may have noticed that the Squelch does not look fondly upon the Greek system (The Squelch doesn’t look fondly upon a lot of other things either; DC food and Alex Weingarten come to mind- and incidentally … Read More
