Instructor: Dr. Vincent Agina
Office: -169+AY Dwinelle
Office Hours: Sunday 3:30a.m-3:35a.m Feb. 29, 1983
This course is a practical field of study of the art of relationships. students will be expected to start a relationship on week one.
WEEK 1: Meet at party. First date. Should prepare at least three witty comments. Practice with model set available at Copy Central.
WEEK 2: Begin “Phone Tag” assignment. 5-10 typed double spaced pages, and a transcript of all answering machine messages left and received. Pick up qualudes at Copy Central. Prep for “Phone Game” assignment.
WEEK 3: Should have achieved date 4-5 by this point. Bring saliva sample to class for typing and mononucleosis evaluation.
WEEK 4: Must have gotten play. If so, bring vial of semen to class. If not, then you may restart assimnment. Be aware that you will be required to make up four weeks of relationship.
WEEK 5: Plan one month anniversary events. Nice restaurant reservations required. Gift.
WEEK 6: Regular sex begins. Make a graph of frequency of orgasms versus Telebears dates.
WEEK 7: Mid-relationship “Where are we going with this?” discussion. Answer questions in reader.
WEEK 8: Assuage insecurity regarding premature ejaculation. Stop masturbating regularly.
WEEK 9: Begin penis extension regimen.
WEEK 10: Gift.
WEEK 11: Apology for insensitivity of gift. Bigger gift. Flowers. Candy. Promises of yacht.
WEEK 12: Meet the parents. Secretly hook up with sister. Seek counseling. Pick up Confessional ditto at Copy Central.
WEEK 13: Unwanted pregnancy. Enroll in Lamaze 146.
WEEK 14: Sister professes undying yearning for you. Blackmail ensues. Bring copy of demands to share with class.
WEEK 15: Have your partner rate your sexual performance. Bring to class. We will all laugh at you. LJBF (Let’s Just Be Friends) discussion occurs. Cry yourself to sleep.
FINAL EXAM: Stalk your partner until restraining order is filed. Enroll in Legal Studies 151: Circumventing Restraining Orders.