During the period known as “Rumspringa,” Amish youth are permitted to leave their insular communities and explore the world of the modern American teenager. Most return to be baptized, but a slim minority chooses to stay in the high-fat, high-octane … Read More
Tag Archives: feature
Student Groups: A Field Guide
Congratulations on missing the deadline for private school applications! Welcome to Cal!
Remember how in high school you had to put up with a lot of bullshit extracurricular activities and student groups? Remember how everyone in high school said … Read More
Words From the Top
18 Candles
There comes a time in every man’s life when he reaches a sacred right of passage, and the lessons he has learned congeal into a thick grease of responsibility and maturity. Before that, though, he turns 18 and goes to … Read More
The GRE As Written by The Internet
**Reading Comprehension
**
After reading the following passages, choose the best answer for each question.
1.
Which of the following best summarizes the main point the author is trying to make?
A)“Zippers are a menace.”
B)“Proper pubic hair maintenance is … Read More
Scenes from an Improv Drama Troupe
Improviser 1: All right, for this scene, we’re going to need a trope. Tropes, anyone?
Audience Member 1: A wedding cancelled due to a miscarriage!
Audience Member 2: A man, trapped, sees no other course but to end his life!!… Read More
A Cult of Your Very Own!
In these uncertain times, when the world is changing too rapidly to keep track of and society seems just one more Hulk Hogan-themed reality show away from collapsing into utter chaos, many people will look anywhere for stability and … Read More
The Carnie Life
Every now and then I find myself thinking, “Max, what if carnies were real people? Where would they go? What would they do?” As it turns out, this summer I had the distinct displeasure of working at the Santa Cruz … Read More
So You’re Going to Hell
Lead a life of debauchery? Sinned against nature? Rejected the legitimacy of your one/multiple true God/gods? Use this handy reference to see just what you ought to expect.
Catholicism
What Your Hell is Like: Not as grandiose or visually … Read More
Words From the Top
A Little Bit of Legal Trouble
My last semester at Cal roughly resembles an Isaac Asimov short story in which an intrepid interstellar explorer lands on a mysterious and seemingly deserted ice planet, only to discover that the University of California at Berkeley has expelled him … Read More
Congratulations! You’ve just had sex with me.
Annnnnnd there.
Wow. I…was…amazing. Did you see me? I was like the champagne of sex-having. I got all up in there. I built a house in there. I joined the PTA in there. That is my home. Your snatch is … Read More
