The GRE As Written by The Internet

**Reading Comprehension


After reading the following passages, choose the best answer for each question.


Which of the following best summarizes the main point the author is trying to make?

A)“Zippers are a menace.”

B)“Proper pubic hair maintenance is important”

C)“kawaii ~*(^o_0^)#~~!!!!”

D)“I wish I had something to do besides make these.”

E)“This cat has Palsy.”


Goku never thought he would feel this way about Vegeta, especially not after they both had been transformed into pregnant dragons. It was only when Vegetasaur’s tongue found its way to Gokudon’s taint that it dawned on him just how much he cared for him.Soon, Gokudon’s scaly nipples hardened like diamonds, and a glow began to take over him.

“It’s happening, Vegeta!”Gokudon shrieked.

“Do it.Give birth on me, Kakarot.”Vegetasaur cooed.

Little did either of them know that Captain Picard watched in the darkness.Except he was an adult baby.

The two lovers’ lack of knowledge of Picard’s gaze is known as:

A)Laissez Faire


C)Incredibly hot

D)Dramatic irony


**Sentence Completion


Choose the word or set of words for each blank that best fits the meaning of the sentence as a whole.

The Master Chief’s whole body shook. “I’m _________ inside of you!” he screamed. “I love you, _________!”

A)Orgasming, Hermione

B)Defecating, Xena Warior Princess

C)Copulating, The Cast of Cheers

D)Obfuscating, Jurisprudence

E)Twitterpating, Thumper



Choose the lettered pair that best expresses a relationship similar to that in the original pair.

Ubuntu : Vista ::

A)Helvetica : Arial

B)Resplendency : Groin Pain

C)Open Source : Apartheid South Africa

D)The way talking dogs are cute : The way talking cats are terrifying


**Analytical Writing


**Present your perspective one of the issues below, using relevant reasons and/or examples to support your views.


1.“Critics of the environmentalist movement claim that industrial regulation hurts the economy more than it helps the planet.Respond to this claim using only actions surrounded in asterisks.”

  1. “Your W0man Will Be Stupefied By Your ErectionSuperViagra $2.27 vqh 6h0y”

3.“Just as a purging fire is sometimes necessary to maintain the health of a forest, perhaps it’s not such an injustice that I’m no longer a Wikipedia admin.”

  1. “Tolerance and progress, taken to extremes, are incompatible.With this in mind, troll the Neopets message boards.”