A left foot fell asleep after a few minutes resting in an awkward position beneath the right lower thigh. The foot reveled in dreams of being the right foot, kicking soccer balls, taking the first step, and fondling other naked … Read More
Tag Archives: Boback Ziaeian
Mayfield Cougars Locke Down Victory
High School sophomore Chester Locke (5’2″ 173 lbs) made an appearance for the Mayfield Cougars in the final 27 seconds of the fourth quarter of Sunday’s basketball game. With a 24 point cushion, Coach George Elders substituted the chubby Chester … Read More
Business Owners Proudly Display Flags
Around the U.S., business owners with physical characteristics reflecting possible Middle-Eastern heritage have proudly begun hanging their American flags in storefront windows. “To us, the American flag symbolizes our freedom, and no one can take it from us,” said San … Read More
Words from the Top
To the Mother it May Concern
It has become increasingly apparent from our recent correspondence that you view me as an unloving, disdainful son. This is evident from the fax I recently received titled “Top 25 grievances attributed to my unloving, disdainful son.” In it you … Read More
Words from the Top
Shrimperstar!
I had always assumed that all shrimp were peeled by hand. Because how could anyone build a machine to peel shrimp? You can’t build a machine to peel shrimp. Shrimp are small, fragile, and slippery. Furthermore, the peeling process is … Read More
Nightlife Environmentally Safe
Clubber Hugo Siriani disturbed patrons of a southern Florida dance club last week when he entered a club wearing vinyl pants and a fishnet shirt. Siriani had been spotted throughout the week sporting the revealing white fishnet shirt over his … Read More
AirBART Bus Driver Application
We’re glad you’ve chosen to join the ranks of the Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) family. This is application is your first step in starting your career as an AirBART bus driver.
Short Answers
- When was the last time you
Video Games Blamed for Violent Behavior
A recent study by the McGill company has found yet more damning evidence linking video game violence with the real-life behavior of the people who play them. At the heart of this study, however, was not the often-analyzed alien bloodbaths … Read More
Parents Deal with First Year of College
Cal freshman Jamie Swintek recently returned home to discover her childhood bedroom was metamorphosed into the family entertainment room. Swintek’s mom, Mrs. Swintek, was reported as saying, “When Jamie left for college, it was really hard on the whole family. … Read More
Chronicles of a Persian Childhood
A Persian upbringing instills in a child a sense of family, a commitment to education, and strong moral values. Unfortunately, this upbringing is also full of brutality, humiliation, and constant mockery. To survive childhood, a Persian child must endure sufficient … Read More
