Business Owners Proudly Display Flags

Around the U.S., business owners with physical characteristics reflecting possible Middle-Eastern heritage have proudly begun hanging their American flags in storefront windows. “To us, the American flag symbolizes our freedom, and no one can take it from us,” said San Francisco grocery store owner Abdul Sawari, who is of Lebanese descent. “We’re proud to be Americans and we think the flag is a symbol that will hopefully dissuade other Americans from mistakenly shattering our windows, dousing our door steps with bovine blood, and beating the shit out of us.”

Besides the new patriotic flags, stores found increased motivation to adjust marketing strategies. Morteza Jamali of Clear Lake, Texas, said, “We thought rearranging the letters in ‘Middle East Market’ to read ‘Saddle Time Market’ with the addition of a carved wooden monkey riding a pony would boost sales of our Arabic and Mediterranean grocery products. It’s something we’d considered in the past, and doing it now seemed very convenient.”