Vincent: You know what the funniest thing about Europe is?
Jules: What?
Vincent: It’s the little differences. A lotta the same dinosaur shit we got here, they got there, but there they’re a little different.
Jules: Examples?
Vincent:… Read More
After a successful recovery from prostate cancer last spring, UC Berkeley Chancellor Robert M. Berdahl suffered a major setback when he choked on a Hacky Sack while playing with his compatriots outside the University House.
Medics rushed to the scene … Read More
Sometimes, I think of ways to escape my horrible dead-end life. First, I’d fashion a shiv from a piece of a shattered dream. Then, I’d use it to stab an inner demon and make a break for it. … Read More
My mother always told me, “If someone crosses you, don’t for a second let that fucker think he can get away with it.”
Snide Remarks from Passers-by
Him: “Oh, I didn’t realize today was Dress Like a Blind … Read More
Best > place to get beaten up
For getting a trampling, the best place to go is the corner of Ashby and Sacramento. Busy enough for easy access yet remote enough for privacy, this bustling neighborhood is … Read More
Results of a study conducted by researchers at the University of California at Berkeley have revealed the need, by you, to apply yourself. As a strong indicator of this need, the study cites recent slacking and an unexpected drop in … Read More
Our Dad’s New Girlfriend is Evil
Jesse and Jenny
Children
Dad, please, you’ve got to listen to us! I know you really like this new woman you’ve met, but please believe us when we tell you: she’s … Read More
Following the lead of many Americans, African orphans who have lost both parents to AIDS have been donating the money raised for them to children of victims killed in the attacks of September 11th. Like many Americans who never … Read More
Now I’m sure you’re thinking “Here I am. America: Land
of Opportunity.” And that’s fine. Go on thinking that,
in your flashy Atlantic City sharkskin suits, with your pearly white teeth
and shiny Pontiac Sunfires. But … Read More
In a special sneak preview for selected media outlets, M. Night Shyamalan, hit director of such films as The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable and Signs, issued top secret information about his next project. “It’s going to be really… Read More
