In a special sneak preview for selected media outlets, M. Night Shyamalan, hit director of such films as The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable and Signs, issued top secret information about his next project. “It’s going to be really slow-paced … almost glacial, and have a real big plot twist at the end,” said the director. “It’s about a regular guy who’s having problems connecting with his wife, you see. He has to look after a child … who is insightful and … umm … very vulnerable.”
With a bead of sweat visibly forming on his brow he added, “He will hold a secret of which he is unware … only to discover it at the end of the film … just in time to save a family in distress.” Visibly flustered, he continued, “I will also have a cameo, a bit bigger than the one in my last film, in which I clumsily interact with the film’s star.” At this point the conference took a short recess during which M. Night Shyamalan was seen desperatly tried to hold back tears while muttering, “I’m a hack.” and “Don’t vomit, hack.” When he returned he announced that the leading role would be played by a fortysomething actor who had once been a young action star but had since gone on to perform more serious roles.