Economics Professor Clair Brown showed up to class yesterday with the hopes of helping college students learn the fundamentals of the effects of foreign trade on GDP. The presentation supposedly included 35 slides ranging from graphs and charts to bullet … Read More
Author Archives: The Squelch
Top Ten Post-Modern Tricks To Teach Your Dog
- Teaching a modernist dog new tricks
- Eating the bits, but none of the kibbles
- Playing alive
- Catching frisbees while making self-referential wisecracks about how cliche it is to catch frisbees
- Delivering monologues directly to the camera
- Letting its own tail
Top Ten Worst Things About Getting Shit On Your Hand
- Long after you’ve gotten the shit off your hand, you’ll still always remember it as the shitty hand
- You didn’t even have hands in the first place so now the shits on your arm
- Clapping is pretty much a non-option
Top Ten Lies Parents Tell
- All the cool kids shop at T.J. Maxx
- There’s plenty of oxygen in the trunk
- Officer, he fell down the stairs
- This is the only way to take your temperature
- We love both of you equally
- It’s not your fault
Top Ten Traditional Palestinian-Israeli Games
- Trivial Pursuit of Peace
- Tetherisraeli
- RISK
- Hide and Go Sheik
- Gaza strip poker
- Skipping rocks off Israeli police officers
- Capture the flag and then burn it
- Hopscotch over your bleeding classmates
- Arafat-Barak 1-On-1 Half Court Challenge
- Paper, rock, tank
Top Ten Things To Do After Receiving 30 Years To Life
- Scare people straight
- Frown
- Stand on the edge of very high objects and yell I didn’t kill my wife
- Either get busy livin’, or get busy dyin’
- Appeal
- Behave, get paroled, and then kill again to make up for 25
Top Ten Board Games For Lazy Kids
- Pin the Tail on the Nearest Object
- Homeopathic Remedy
- Yaht-z-z-z
- Chutes & Escalators
- Sorry! (That’s Okay!)
- Oligopoly
- Really Obvious Clue
- Satiated, Content Hippos
- -A-Cero!
- Connect Two
Top Ten Child Nicknames for a Rabbit
- Fucking disease ridden monsters that eat their fucking babies, FUCK!
- Furry burry bunny bunny
- Jumpy lucky bunny
- Wabbity wabbit
- Funny bunny
- Cutie bunny
- Bunny wabbit
- Fuzzy bunny
- Bunny bunny
- Bunny
Top Ten Things Found On The Ocean Floor
- Every ship ever captained by a woman
- Wallet-sized photos of Russian sweethearts
- Gadgets and gizmos aplenty
- Pyroxene-olivine basalt
- Shore-to-shore carpeting
- Whales <STRIKE>fucking</STRIKE> making love
- Geodesic domes with sustainable breathing environment
- 4 million Razor scooters (10 years from now)
- Childern’s letters
Top Ten Inner-City Software Products
- Real Playa
- Oregon Trail for the Apple IIe
- Microsoft Word Up
- Lowered Netscape Navigator with Chrome Rims and 12” Lift
- Microsoft Out – Look – Out Datrell It’s tha Po-Po
- Corel Werd Perfikt
- Etch-a-Sketch
- Macromedia Dreams – ruined – by