Top Ten Worst Things About Getting Shit On Your Hand

  1. Long after you’ve gotten the shit off your hand, you’ll still always remember it as the shitty hand
  2. You didn’t even have hands in the first place so now the shits on your arm
  3. Clapping is pretty much a non-option
  4. Shit-greased hands make it difficult to climb out of giant vat of shit you fell into
  5. Your other hand will become shitty if you try to wipe it off
  6. You knew there wasn’t enough toilet paper, but you still tried to wipe your ass
  7. You don’t know how or when the shit got there
  8. It’s not your shit
  9. People won’t talk or stand near you while you have shit on your hand
  10. You now have shit on your hand