CNN is facing steep consequences this week for airing a report which failed to meet the FCC’s mandatory Muslim otherness requirement. During a ten-minute piece on the opening of a halal butcher shop, New York resident and practicing Muslim Mohammed … Read More
Author Archives: The Squelch
Sex Club Letter
Hi Chris,
We’re not about exclusion here at the Adult Explorations club. We try to foster a diverse environment in which Bears of all stripes can act on their desires in a safe, controlled way. And of course, we appreciate … Read More
What I think I learned from my big bro
The Brothers of Sigma Epsilon are dedicated to community service, developing leadership, and working off their hazing citation fines. That’s why we teamed up with the Big Brothers Foundation to teach Berkeley’s underprivileged children a few life lessons. To prove … Read More
Google Blog
Schmoop
Introducing Google Schmoop™
8/7/2010 02:54:00 PM
Hey Google Fans,
The gang at Google is delighted to announce our new app. It’s called Google Schmoop™, and before you ask, “What’s Google Schmoop™?” try it for yourself. Just download any of … Read More
UC Regent Cries Himself to Sleep at Night
In a press conference this Thursday, UC Regent Robert Sullivan admitted to a rash of teary nights atop his satin sheets inside his retro spaceship house. The unprecedented raises in tuition have taken a heavy toll, the Regent said.
“It … Read More
Top Ten Signs You Might Have Pledged a Vampire Fraternity
- Guys seemed nervous when you suggested “Steak Night.”
- Big theme party is always “Immortal Bros and Neck-Bitten Hoes.”
- Hell Week actually takes place in Hell.
- The house has a firm rule about never letting Wesley Snipes inside.
- Guys in coffins
Top Ten Frank Sinatra Songs About Substance Abuse
- I Get A Kick Out Of Glue
- They Can’t Toke That Away From Me
- That’s Crack-Whore-Ay
- Too Dosed For Comfort
- (Dancing) Tweak to Tweak
- I’ve Shot You Under My Skin
- It Was A Very Good Beer
- Have Yourself A Merry
American Cultues Class Enlightens Area Freshman
After a semester of Ethnomusicology 50AC, freshman Bill Muller reports himself conclusively free of all forms of racism, sexism, classism, midgetism, and an entire spectrum of more exotic prejudices. Muller, a Sigma Phi Nu pledge and Business Administration major, says … Read More
Minutes of the Drunk Illuminati
Present: Alexander the Great, Edgar Allan Poe, Ernest Hemingway, Ulysses S. Grant, John Wayne, Dean Martin, Senator Joseph McCarthy, Jackson Pollock, Jimi Hendrix, Joseph Stalin, Winston Churchill, Jim Morrison, Jack Kerouac, Elvis Presley.
8:02 Opening beers distributed. Alexander the Great … Read More
Top Ten Vaginal Alcohols
- Mantwattan
- Hymenken
- Sangina
- Johnnie Walker Blue Labial
- Cuntreau
- Hennussy
- Perineal Reserve
- Blue Poon
- Budweiservix
- Paps Blue Ribbon
