- Will assist colleagues in Big Game brawls
- Can handle a bullwhip
- Will pay for pizza during tenure hearing
- Can consistently bowl over 160
- Isn’t scared to speak out and agree with everyone else on any issue
- Won’t guzzle beer from
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- Hades/ ML Olympus (tie)
- Los Angeles
- Antarctica
- Club Med Bahamas
- Downtown Beirut
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- Sang “God Bless America” at Bush’s inauguration
- Headline act at Disoriented Street People Talent Show
- Opened for Pink Floyd at Berlin Wall
- Breakfast Lounge at Sunshine Insane Asylum
- Sang national anthem at 1990 World Series
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- “What do you mean I can’t cancel class just because the A’s lost?”
- “I’ll assign your book to my class if you give me that jelly donut”
- “I don’t give A’s because that just encourages them to stay.
- “Who finished
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- Stop wondering and form two lines
behind either register!!
- Wardrobe completely ruined by grease
stains
- Never been recognized for their true
culinary genius
- Even the dorks at Domino’s get cars for
deliveries
- It’s hard to be patient when you were
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- You need a dictionary to comprehend the word “graduation”
- You spend most of class time talking on cellular phone
- You forget exactly which multiple of four years college is supposed to be
- Beer and/or marijuana are staples of diet
- Semester
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