- Pretend to be security guard and arrest people for buying textbooks they know
they’ll never use
- Yell “Fire! Fire! Oh, never mind, it’s just in Nutritional Science.”
- Test “human domino” theory
- Incite book burning
- Reading for first four weeks of
… Read More
- Angst and Alienation To Go
- Cafe Spam Delight
- Pseudo Intellectual Espresso
- Cafe Obnoxio
- Mocha n’ Grits
… Read More
- “How does it feel being the nation’s biggest joke?”
- “This ‘New World Order’ is your secret plan to take over the universe, isn’t it?”
- “Quick– how many houses of congress
are there?”
- “Do you feel that cabinet members are envious
… Read More
- What if all these homeless people are
Berkeley graduates?
- What if my senior thesis is politically
incorrect?
- Am I supposed to think “Sylvia” is
funny?
- What if tie-dyes go out of style?
- What if I have an acid flashback during
… Read More
- Examathon
- Power flunk
- Deorgasm
- Pukemonger
- Supraflatulence
- Churl finger
- Hellarific
- Unphlegm
- Detenurize
- Snidelicious
… Read More
- Will assist colleagues in Big Game brawls
- Can handle a bullwhip
- Will pay for pizza during tenure hearing
- Can consistently bowl over 160
- Isn’t scared to speak out and agree with everyone else on any issue
- Won’t guzzle beer from
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