- Hitler
- Julia Child
- Jenny Craig 11 months of the year
- The Notorious B.I.G.
- Cookie Monster
- Kenyon Jones
- You, Barry Kurtz, you
- BobaFett
- Joe Eskenazi
- Fiona Apple
Tag Archives: top ten
Top Ten Things To Get
- Tysberg Address
- Your shit together
- Da Fuck Out
- A life
- Funky
- Down
- In line
- Bent
- Out and push
- High, Stupid, and AIDS
Top Twelve Reasons Serina Johnson Stopped Writing Sex On Tuesday
- Sorority sisters found out she was literate.
- Writer’s cramp
- Chancellor Berdahl was impotent (politically, we mean)
- Depleted ova
- She’s not ready for a relationship. It’s just moving too fast.
- She got fired after casually commenting that Joe Eskinazi wasn’t funny
Top Fifteen Jeopardy Questions
- I’m leaving you Alex.
- Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
- Where is the keg, bra?
- What is the frequency Kenneth?
- Where is the beef?
- Who is scruffy looking?
- Whaddup?
- What does this button do?
- What’s love got to
Top Ten New Jobs for Seinfeld
- Center, Hollywood Squares
- Paying his American Express Bill
- Cal Football Coach
- Psychic Friend
- Heroin Addict
- White House Intern
- Bad Actor
- Bounty Hunter
- Girl’s Gym Teacher
- Rabbi
Top Ten Things You Don’t Want to Think About Your Parents Doing
- Posting bail
- Talking the talk without walking the walk
- White House Internship
- Running out of money
- Visiting you
- Accepting ovaries
- Reading the Squelch
- That thing they do
- Mountain Dew<sup>TM</sup>
- Watching Moesha
- The Hustle
- The laundry
- Their tax return
Top Eleven Rejected Girl Scout Cookies
- Pimp Wheels
- Olestra Surprise
- Crack Ahoy!
- Tagalogs
- Tossed Salad
- Yeasty Beasties
- Sex Sandwich
- Don’ Eat ‘Dose
- Shin Splints
- Samoans
- Pappy Pap Smears
Top Three Scariest Words in the English Language
- Heart
- Breaky
- Achy
Top Eleven Reasons to Smoke Pot
-
Because altered states of consciousness are the only known antidotes for college.
-
Because, with each purchase, 5% of the profits go to a needy cause.
- Because of the kind of people who don’t. Newt Gingrich doesn’t.
- Because you live in
Top Five Things Overheard at Chancellor Berdahl’s Last Speech
- “Wow.”
- “You’re kidding!”
- “No, I thought it was an Asian guy…”
- “Who?”
- “Who is this guy?”
