- All the benefits of bulimia without staining your teeth.
- No need for leeches.
- A tapeworm is man’s second best friend.
- If you’re Jewish, you can eat pork.
- Cheaper than getting reamed.
- Tapeworms are recordable, unlike CD worms.
- Not as bad
Tag Archives: top ten
Top Ten Better Uses for the Space Allotted to a Daily Californian Column
- Scratch ‘n sniff Cal offensive line
- Origami
- Always QuickWrap<sup>TM</sup>
- CalPIRG rant
- Turkey sandwich (mmmmmm….)
- Place to wipe boogers
- MCAT answers
- More “No Exit” cartoons
- Stolen credit card numbers
- Doodle square
Top Fifteen Little Known Poker Variants
- Fuck your Father in the Shower and Have a Snack
- Shit in the Ocean
- Out the Dealer
- Progressive Five Card Draw, Royal Flush or Better
- One Card Stud
- Make your Inside Straight By Any Means Necessary
- The New Guy Gives
Top Ten Causes the ASUC Will Donate $1,000 to Instead of Yolanda Manuel
-
Russia
-
The Preston Taylor Penis Enlargement Fund
- 1/25 of the $25,000 Pyramid
- Jews for Muhammad
- Dinner for two at Chez Panisse
- Your mom 500 times
- Campus Crusade for the Antichrist
- Window tinting
- Space Toilet development
- NAMBLA
Top Ten Rejected De-Cal Classes
- Linguistics: Using the definite article in front of freeway names
- Entomology: Shit that bugs
- Economics: Managing a sports debt
- Religious Studies: Preaching the Bible like a maniac
- Tabloid Journalism: Writing for the Daily Cal
- Environmental Sciences: How to look like
Top Ten People Worse than David Cash
- Satan
- Strohmeyer
- Genghis Khan
- Martha Stewart
- Darryl Strawberry
- Skeletor
- David’s evil brother, Johnny
- Kenneth Starr
- The kid from the Encyclopedia Brittanica Commercials
- Johannes Kepler
Top Ten Things Overheard During a Cal-PIRG Meeting
-
Did you shave today, Jenny?
-
Hey! I just came up with a sound that we can make that will increase our annoyingness by a factor of ten!
- Seal, I just sat on the baby Christ
- Pass the pipe
- I still
Top Ten Withheld Excerpts From Kenneth Starr’s Report
-
Kenneth Starr was abused as a child
-
Diet Dr. Pepper does taste more like regular Dr. Pepper
- Get high, get stupid, get impeached
- Boris Yeltsin is personally responsible for 5% of the world’s liver transplants
- Alan Greenspan died in 1975
Top Ten Reasons We Think We Beat Nebraska
-
We have electricity
-
They slept with our cheerleaders
- We slept with their cheerleaders
- We didn’t tear down our own goal posts
- BEAR-SNAK
- Cal Band Great!
- We won in spirit by being more ethnically diverse
- Bras are constraining and I hate
Top Ten Useless Things in Berkeley
- Militant vegans
- A class entry code for any course offered in the Scandinavian Department
- The people who drive those Hondas
- Hondas with stickers on them that say ?Powered by Honda?
- A Peace and Conflict Studies Degree
- Trying to use your
