- Long after you’ve gotten the shit off your hand, you’ll still always remember it as the shitty hand
- You didn’t even have hands in the first place so now the shits on your arm
- Clapping is pretty much a non-option
… Read More
- Teaching a modernist dog new tricks
- Eating the bits, but none of the kibbles
- Playing alive
- Catching frisbees while making self-referential wisecracks about how cliche it is to catch frisbees
- Delivering monologues directly to the camera
- Letting its own tail
… Read More
- Break his feet and leave him in the mountains
- The pull-out method
- By the ears
- In a loving, caring household that murders children
- With lies and manipulation
- Crop rotation
- Send 40¢ a month
- Vegan
- In a pack of wild wolves
… Read More
- Fucking disease ridden monsters that eat their fucking babies, FUCK!
- Furry burry bunny bunny
- Jumpy lucky bunny
- Wabbity wabbit
- Funny bunny
- Cutie bunny
- Bunny wabbit
- Fuzzy bunny
- Bunny bunny
- Bunny
… Read More
- Every ship ever captained by a woman
- Wallet-sized photos of Russian sweethearts
- Gadgets and gizmos aplenty
- Pyroxene-olivine basalt
- Shore-to-shore carpeting
- Whales <STRIKE>fucking</STRIKE> making love
- Geodesic domes with sustainable breathing environment
- 4 million Razor scooters (10 years from now)
- Childern’s letters
… Read More
- The tears of a beaten child
- Her period
- Ear wax
- Ruptured warts
- Holy water
- Icy-Hot
- The last guy’s cum
- Actually getting to know her
- Mushed up ants
- Peanut Butter Chunky Style
… Read More
- Real Playa
- Oregon Trail for the Apple IIe
- Microsoft Word Up
- Lowered Netscape Navigator with Chrome Rims and 12” Lift
- Microsoft Out – Look – Out Datrell It’s tha Po-Po
- Corel Werd Perfikt
- Etch-a-Sketch
- Macromedia Dreams – ruined – by
… Read More
- Pin the Tail on the Nearest Object
- Homeopathic Remedy
- Yaht-z-z-z
- Chutes & Escalators
- Sorry! (That’s Okay!)
- Oligopoly
- Really Obvious Clue
- Satiated, Content Hippos
- -A-Cero!
- Connect Two
… Read More
- They can’t _ both _ hang right
- Futile attempt to point out that your shoelace is untied
- Your tendency to use it as a kickstand while lying down
- It’s signaling to change lanes
- The right-hand rule
- Sympathy for lumpen proletariat
… Read More
- It dulls the pain of cutting off your
own arm
- Because I’m D.C. food and I taste
like fucking shit
- Molasses isn’t of the maximum
radicalness
- It isn’t really “sugar”, it’s co-caine…
and you aren’t “pouring”
it “on me” ,
… Read More
