Top Ten Other Reasons To Pour Some Sugar On Me

  1. It dulls the pain of cutting off your
    own arm
  2. Because I’m D.C. food and I taste
    like fucking shit
  3. Molasses isn’t of the maximum
  4. It isn’t really “sugar”, it’s co-caine…
    and you aren’t “pouring”
    it “on me” , you’re siphoning into my nostril
  5. I am diabetic (and you are evil)
  6. My given name is Ray Leonard
  7. Instead of C&H you accidentally
    purchased the coarsely granu-lated,
    frankly inferior sugar Central Mexico, and you have do something with it
  8. You can’t pour Sweet and Low
    “in the name of love”
  9. I just happen to be inside the gas
    tank of a car of someone you hate
  10. I am made of normal water, and
    aspire to become delicious sugar