- You’re smiling all the time in
Frownytown - You’re in Tomorrowland, but you were looking for Superman: The Ride
- You have a star on your sleeve, but everyone else has no star
- You’re a Who, and you ended up in
Tag Archives: top ten
Top Ten Ways to Feel Insignificant
-
Be a daughter born in China
-
Turn self into pixel
- Appear on cover of Asianweek
- Ask out and be rejected by Anne Cooper, this girl in my co-op
- Give the best speech of your life; realize you’re mute
- Realize you
Top Ten Emergencies at the Elementary School Health Office
- Poorly funded school system
- A really painful splinter under the thumbnail that no one can help you with because there’s not even really a nurse working in the so-called “health office,” and everyone’s too frightened of lawsuits to pick up
Top Ten Ways to Annoy People in an Elevator
- Explain that if your randomly-chosen floor matches the floor chosen by your potential lover in the other elevator, you were meant to be together
- Take elevator from first to second floor, you lazy, non-stair-walking ASUC fuck
- Press every button, get
Top Ten Alternative Names for Military Campaign
- Operation Let’s Not Hit Another Goddamn Embassy
- Operation I Slam, You Slam, We All Slam Islam
- Great American Smoke-Out
- Fruit Bars & Cluster Bombs
- Operation Noble But Conflicted Eagle
- Operation Towel Whip
- Operation Last Crusade
- Iran’s Warning Shot
- Smackdown!
- Muslim
Top Ten Poorly Conceived Superhero Duos
- Etch-a-Sketch Man & Mr. Jitters
- Stand-Man & Can’t-Stand- Stand-Man -Man
- Love Man & Friend Girl
- Superman & Lousyman
- BAMN-Man & Bam-Bam
- Daredevil & DareJesus
- Chalkman & White Board
- Riddler & “See Answer on Page 9” Man
- Sharkman & Cap’n Chum
Top Ten Lifetime Original Movies
- The Making of a Lifetime Original Movie: A Lifetime Original Movie
- Some Dumb Movie For Women
- Hold On For One More Day: The Carnie Wilson Story
- So Many Tears
- Estranged Boyfriend Abortion Doctor Rape Incest
- Ex-Husband Killer Stalker Man
- My
Top Ten Catholic TV Shows
- X-communication Files
- Really Big Family Ties
- Growing Pains in My Side After Being Speared
- Cardinals of Hazzard
- Golden Grails
- Calvary Hillbillies
- Full Mass
- Who’s on the Cross?
- She’s the Pope
- Who’s the Pope?
Top Ten Ways to Avoid a Shark Attack
- Cover self with fun house mirrors so you look like a bigger shark
- Dress up like a girl shark and flirt (Warning: May result in shark rape)
- Play dead
- Be the lead character
- Your first day in the ocean, beat
Top Ten Signs You Might Be Psychic
- When you were five you said “Someday I’ll go to Berkeley and live in a shithole apartment.”
- You could win the lottery if you wanted to
- Is this your card?
- You’re homeless and need change
- You knew Original Sin was
