- Cover self with fun house mirrors so you look like a bigger shark
- Dress up like a girl shark and flirt (Warning: May result in shark rape)
- Play dead
- Be the lead character
- Your first day in the ocean, beat up a shark so they know who’s boss
- Drain world’s oceans
- Rethink pants made of chum
- Swim with a slower, fatter, more appetizing buddy
- Pre-emptively get mauled by bear
- Stop bleeding
