Volume 11- Issue 2 Top Ten Ways to Avoid a Shark Attack October 1, 2001 top ten Cover self with fun house mirrors so you look like a bigger shark Dress up like a girl shark and flirt (Warning: May result in shark rape) Play dead Be the lead character Your first day in the ocean, beat up a shark so they know who’s boss Drain world’s oceans Rethink pants made of chum Swim with a slower, fatter, more appetizing buddy Pre-emptively get mauled by bear Stop bleeding
