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I wanted to go in, but the placenta wanted to come out
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Because my mother told me so
- Two people, five hands
- So much dirt was involved
- First condom breaking, fine; fifth condom breaking, weird
- Because you’re not going to
Tag Archives: top ten
Top Ten Things Porn Stars Do After Work
- The opposite of sex
- Read a romance novel by firelight
- Go home to wife, just snuggle
- Buy Costco drum of mouthwash
- Lather, rinse, repeat
- Husband
- Algebra homework
- Call a real plumber
- Laundry
- Put pants back on
Top Ten Jeopardy Categories
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Potent Potables
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Biblical Harlots
- Rhetorical Questions
- Cross-Dressers I’ve Been Fooled By
- Famous First People to Step on Moon
- Ends With Y
- Famous Old Dead Cocksuckers
- Pederasty
- Yes/No Answers
- My Clothes Off (As in, “I’ll take My Clothes Off for eight
Top Ten Times to Look Down a Girl’s Shirt
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When you can’t look at her cootch
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In Astro lab with your big ol’ telescope!! Aw yeah.
- At church when she bows for communion
- When your boyfriend isn’t looking
- When you’re just friends and she’s just hot
- Any time
- When
Top Ten Reasons to Raise the Fence Around Berkeley High
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Because you already raised the roof
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Prevent Tom Holmoe from ruining their football team, too
- Less schools, less prisons, more prison-schools
- Make it even harder to leave Berkeley High
- Kids are getting taller
- Misinterpreted “raising the bar”
- See if students
Top Twelve Items in a “Hi-Tech Burrito”
- 600 Free Hours of AOL for 45 days
- Open-Source Salsa
- Global positioning software
- Smart Beef
- Supercream XP
- Surveillance Olives
- Missle Defense Shield
- Hoverbeans
- Kt133 – Chipset
- Stealth guacamole
Top Ten Winter Movies About Food
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Orange County
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Casserole Damage
- Rollergumball
- In the Kitchen
- Not Another Teen Smoothie
- I Am Yam
- Kate & Neopolitan
- Black Berry Down
- A Beautiful Rind
- Lord of the Onion Rings
Top Ten Things to Say to a Dog You’re Abandoning When It Keeps Looking at You Like That
- Nothing. Let your new dog do all the talking.
- “So … um … I guess I’ll … see you around then. Yeah.”
- “The last five dogs took this way better than you’re taking it, you big baby.”
- “Dry those tears,
Top Ten Ways to Tell Your Teen is Troubled
- Standing on block of ice with a moose around his neck
- Standing on block of ice with a noose around his neck
- Father’s Day gift includes coupons for chores and coupons for crack
- In lieu of posters, nails old blocks
Top Ten Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage
- Put it in her butt. Dude.
- Greet your spouse at the door wearing nothing but a brand-new attractive body
- With luv
- Push twin beds back together
- Have a hot steamy date eating hot steamy lobster in a hot steamy vat of
