- “This is where the Squelch writes top ten lists . . . Hey, what are you doing with that notepad? He’s writing down everything we say!” Self-reference is stupid.
- “I cut this glory hole myself.”
- “There goes my ex-girlfriend–On three,
Tag Archives: top ten
Top Ten Products and Activities in the Futuristic Dystopia Envisioned in the Film “Rollerball”
- Whammerhammers
- Kablammerhammers
- Smackerhammers
- Bonkerhammers
- Hitterbats
- Toastertoasters
- Babymakersex
- Brusherbrushes
- Floaterboats
- Flyerplanes
Top Ten Reasons the Sex We Just Had Was Dirty
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I wanted to go in, but the placenta wanted to come out
-
Because my mother told me so
- Two people, five hands
- So much dirt was involved
- First condom breaking, fine; fifth condom breaking, weird
- Because you’re not going to
Top Ten Things Porn Stars Do After Work
- The opposite of sex
- Read a romance novel by firelight
- Go home to wife, just snuggle
- Buy Costco drum of mouthwash
- Lather, rinse, repeat
- Husband
- Algebra homework
- Call a real plumber
- Laundry
- Put pants back on
Top Ten Jeopardy Categories
-
Potent Potables
-
Biblical Harlots
- Rhetorical Questions
- Cross-Dressers I’ve Been Fooled By
- Famous First People to Step on Moon
- Ends With Y
- Famous Old Dead Cocksuckers
- Pederasty
- Yes/No Answers
- My Clothes Off (As in, “I’ll take My Clothes Off for eight
Top Ten Times to Look Down a Girl’s Shirt
-
When you can’t look at her cootch
-
In Astro lab with your big ol’ telescope!! Aw yeah.
- At church when she bows for communion
- When your boyfriend isn’t looking
- When you’re just friends and she’s just hot
- Any time
- When
Top Ten Ways to Scare the Red Cross From Ever Asking You to Donate Blood Again.
- In little kid voice: “Once … this time … once upon this time … I…once ….this time…I fucked my dog.”
- “Puck, Why you steeeck your fingers in my pee-a-nut butter?”
- “Can I have the needle when you’re finished with it?”
Top Ten Non-Pornographic Porno Movies
- All Aural ActionGA$A3 Hearing Solutions Presents: Ear Pirates II
- Playboy Presents: Playboy Corporation’s Fiscal Report 2001
- Jungle Fever: Malaria
- Lesbian Prisoners in Solitary
- Housewives That Set a Decent Example VII
- Inhibition
- Girls Gone to Sleep
- Boys Avoiding Boys
- Deep Thought
Top Ten Winter Movies About Food
-
Orange County
-
Casserole Damage
- Rollergumball
- In the Kitchen
- Not Another Teen Smoothie
- I Am Yam
- Kate & Neopolitan
- Black Berry Down
- A Beautiful Rind
- Lord of the Onion Rings
Top Ten Things to Say to a Dog You’re Abandoning When It Keeps Looking at You Like That
- Nothing. Let your new dog do all the talking.
- “So … um … I guess I’ll … see you around then. Yeah.”
- “The last five dogs took this way better than you’re taking it, you big baby.”
- “Dry those tears,
