Top Ten Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage

  1. Put it in her butt.       Dude.
  2. Greet your spouse at the door wearing nothing but a brand-new attractive body
  3. With luv
  4. Push twin beds back together
  5. Have a hot steamy date eating hot steamy lobster in a hot steamy vat of boiling water
  6. Buy matching denim pantsuits
  7. Slam it to the left (if you’re having a good time), shake it to the right (lemme know that you feel fine), shake it to the front (ha! ha!), hi-see-ya, hold tight
  8. Have more children to remind you of the youth to which you can never return
  9. Tandem bicycle
  10. Remarry your loved one and have resex