- Michael J. Fox
- Two cults of children, locked in eternal struggle, at the same coffee stand you were at two minutes ago
- Two cults of children who murder people, locked in eternal struggle
- A cult of children that murder people
… Read More
- All the starving people
- Miraculous 2nd coat of wax on my Thunderbird
… Read More
- Grover Cleveland
- Beastly Muff
- Pubic Zirconium
- Spelling Bea
- Busty Brian
- Hot Karla
- Synnamin Rollz
- World’s Best Grandma
- Steele Reserrv
- Krabb Kakes
- Karrot Pealer
… Read More
- Slinky
- Broken stencil, letters A-J
- Hairbrush whittled out of a potato
- Stretch of shag carpeting that once had 7-Up poured on it but has now dried
- Complete set of 32 ginsu knives
- Baseball cap
- Half-pound of spaghetti
- Another dude’s even
… Read More
- Amit Tamir
- Smurf socks smurf
- Subtle Butler
- Baal’s slab
- Drab draft
- Campanile C
- Poopy
- La Val’s
- Amish Shrimp
- Yves’ racecar: Chevy!
… Read More
- Grow a thin mustache
- Smoke cigarettes and look cool
- Pop that kid’s damn balloon
- Tell every French person you meet, “Gee, how ’bout that Maginot Line?”
- Fall in love with a beast
- Try to step in the exact same place
… Read More
- About Slit
- Fellate Me if You Can
- My Big Fat Greek Wedding Night
- The Hours and Hours of Sex
- About a Boytoy
- Spirited Lay
- The 12-inch Uncircumcised Pianist
- Gangbangs of New York
… Read More
- Free porn!
- Being an egg loaner not lucrative enough
- Lower your cholesterol
- So you can experience the joy of being a donor
- You’re an Olympic runner and they’re weighing you down
- Beats being a leg donor
- You’re tired of seeing
… Read More
- Take-yo-Sushi Biatch
- Crepes-a-Poo-Poo
- Chez P+Anis
- Juice Appeal (but open)
- Mildly Intelligent Alec’s
- Kip’s Underage Caf+A
- Morbidly Obese Slice
- El Burrito
- Frogurt Shark
- Slop Dog
… Read More
- You paid Stanford $120,000
- You’re Kyle Boller and it’s opposite day
- You need to go star in a late-60’s movie with Ann Bancroft
- Like Stalin, your third five-year plan was wildly successful
- Cause you can’t go home and you can’t
… Read More
