- All the starving people
- Miraculous 2nd coat of wax on my Thunderbird
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- Grover Cleveland
- Beastly Muff
- Pubic Zirconium
- Spelling Bea
- Busty Brian
- Hot Karla
- Synnamin Rollz
- World’s Best Grandma
- Steele Reserrv
- Krabb Kakes
- Karrot Pealer
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- Slinky
- Broken stencil, letters A-J
- Hairbrush whittled out of a potato
- Stretch of shag carpeting that once had 7-Up poured on it but has now dried
- Complete set of 32 ginsu knives
- Baseball cap
- Half-pound of spaghetti
- Another dude’s even
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- Dick Gum: Gum for Your Dick
- Dickorette
- The toothless gums of your sexy grandmother (fellating me)
- Bazooka Johnspn
- Juicy Fruitbasket
- Dicklets
- Doublewidth
- XXXtra
- Big Red
- Humple Yum
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- About Slit
- Fellate Me if You Can
- My Big Fat Greek Wedding Night
- The Hours and Hours of Sex
- About a Boytoy
- Spirited Lay
- The 12-inch Uncircumcised Pianist
- Gangbangs of New York
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- Free porn!
- Being an egg loaner not lucrative enough
- Lower your cholesterol
- So you can experience the joy of being a donor
- You’re an Olympic runner and they’re weighing you down
- Beats being a leg donor
- You’re tired of seeing
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- Take-yo-Sushi Biatch
- Crepes-a-Poo-Poo
- Chez P+Anis
- Juice Appeal (but open)
- Mildly Intelligent Alec’s
- Kip’s Underage Caf+A
- Morbidly Obese Slice
- El Burrito
- Frogurt Shark
- Slop Dog
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- You paid Stanford $120,000
- You’re Kyle Boller and it’s opposite day
- You need to go star in a late-60’s movie with Ann Bancroft
- Like Stalin, your third five-year plan was wildly successful
- Cause you can’t go home and you can’t
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- Mess with those guards that can’t talk
- Eat fish n’chips
- Hunt big game
- Fly to New Orleans for Mardi Gras
- Carnaval!
- Tour the Amazon
- Oktoberfest
- Sake bomb
- Do as the Romans do
- Go to Amsterdam
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- Goodnight Poon
- Frog and Toad, Together in that Way
- Cocks in Socks
- Pippi Dongstocking
- Where the Wild Things are Filmed and Put on the Internet
- Bi-curious George
- Winnie the Pooh-fetishist
- Oh, the Carpets You’ll Mow
- Where Waldo’s Dick?
- Charlotte’s Wet
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