- A Low Down Dirty Taint
- Taintanic
- How Stella Got Her Taint Back
- The Royal Taintenbaums
- That’s Entertaintment!
- Throw Momma from the Taint
- The Accidental Taintist
- Citizen Taint
- Taint Is Enough
- Taint Your Wagon
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- Picture of an eye, a yam, f + four-leaf clover + ing
- Soldering iron on door, a la Home Alone
- Write “Virgin-ville. Population: only you, Dave”
- Bouncer
- Leaving door open
- Message on answering machine
- Elaborate Birds/Bees metaphors
- Write “I am
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- The Second cutest thing, after you
kill the cutest thing
- Kitty riding a Care Bear vomiting
rainbows
- Oscar and Elmo reconciling their
feud
- Really, really cuddly lobsters
- Your daughter’s first pearl necklace
- Bambi, smiling
- Panda hugging a
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- “You write for the Squelch? I won’t
have sex with you.”
- “I got an A!”
- “I don’t need to have fat friends to
feel good about myself.”
- “Who’s up for a rousing game of
Scattergories?”
- “Why, this
… Read More
- Run the book over your naked body
- Write an equal sign, take a shot
- Pull the Fire Alarm of Knowledge
- Scrape ink off books, snort ink
- Watch Billy Madison 12 times
- Take Grampa’s advice to “wisen up” to heart
- Eat
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- Perhaps… perhaps…
- No
- Yes
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- Crying like a woman
- Your scary gay lisp
- Attempting to break up riot with rousing game of Magic: The Gathering
- Introducing yourself as “Fish”
- Pre-emptive cocksucking
- Gently turning down their advancements
- Shaving your legs
- Making cell key into knife
- Becoming
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- Whatever the mother of the Wayans kids was doing
- Semen-covered dildo
- Going to a party at Pi Kappa Phi
- Eye of newt
- Getting pregnant
- Visiting my room
- Screen-door condoms
- Rhythm method, but you’re white and have no rhythm
- Twist Ties
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- Borg Cube
- Living off the residuals Mark Hamill
- Hitler-moustache Obi-Wan
- Openly gay C3P0
- George Lucas with bags of money
- Billy Dee Williams with Malt Liquor Action
- The Force
- Identical twins of every character
- A wookie taking a crap
- Han Job
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- Whoa
- Oh my God man
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