- The Second cutest thing, after you
kill the cutest thing
- Kitty riding a Care Bear vomiting
rainbows
- Oscar and Elmo reconciling their
feud
- Really, really cuddly lobsters
- Your daughter’s first pearl necklace
- Bambi, smiling
- Panda hugging a
… Read More
- “You write for the Squelch? I won’t
have sex with you.”
- “I got an A!”
- “I don’t need to have fat friends to
feel good about myself.”
- “Who’s up for a rousing game of
Scattergories?”
- “Why, this
… Read More
- Run the book over your naked body
- Write an equal sign, take a shot
- Pull the Fire Alarm of Knowledge
- Scrape ink off books, snort ink
- Watch Billy Madison 12 times
- Take Grampa’s advice to “wisen up” to heart
- Eat
… Read More
- Perhaps… perhaps…
- No
- Yes
… Read More
- Doing a Horse
- Making Glue
- Horse Whispering
- Red Bulling
- Getting Neigh’d
- Shafting the Shetland
- Underjockey
- Playing Stud
- Trigger Happy
- Seabiscuitting
… Read More
- Make-a-Wish Foundation won’t give you that gun
- Making sure Grandma doesn’t look behind her
- Having to tell Bambi about the… incident
- A Pre-schooler sitting in the corner, forever
- Having to tell Santa that you’re Jewish now
- Didn’t know she was
… Read More
- Whoa
- Oh my God man
… Read More
- Smirnoff Ice
- James’ Giant Peach Schnapps
- Budweiser Chewables
- Sex on the Sandbox
- Miller High School Life
- Goodnight Moonshine
- Jungle Gym Juice
- Caprila Sunrise
- One-and-a-half Equis
- Ensign Morgan
… Read More
- “I have to give the alumni what kind of jobs?”
- “Heads. No, tails!”
- “No, Advanced Dungeons and Dragons.”
- “Do I get free DC food with this job? Sweet.”
- “Yes I have, but she was my cousin.”
- “I don’t know, who
… Read More
- “Jesus Christ!”
- “I sure love that Paul Reiser.”
- [Anything not in Aramaic]
- “I still have my foreskin.”
- “My dad could beat up your dad.”
- “Do you think I look fat in this Batman shirt?”
- “And you shall go forth, and
… Read More
