- Don’t worry… you’re gonna be
just… f-f-fine! [Sob]
- Not many people get to make
TWO wishes.
- Don’t worry. We’ll bury it with you
eventually.
- Now you won’t have to see your
hamster eventually die
- Don’t be
… Read More
- Help, My Plane Is On Fire! You
See, The Left Aileron Has Failed,
But This Comes As Little Surprise
At It Has Been Sticking Lately.
- A/S/L?
- Cindy, If You Love Me, Check This Box
- The Weather Today
… Read More
- Alef, Bet, Vet (It’s Easy as Ahaat,
Shtahyeem, Shahlosh)
- Sixteen Candles (Divided By Two)
- Where the Goys Are
- Runaround Jew
- Jailhouse Lox
- I Left My Heart in Warsaw
- You Can’t Always Get What You
Want (For Hanukkah)
- Johnny
… Read More
- A Low Down Dirty Taint
- Taintanic
- How Stella Got Her Taint Back
- The Royal Taintenbaums
- That’s Entertaintment!
- Throw Momma from the Taint
- The Accidental Taintist
- Citizen Taint
- Taint Is Enough
- Taint Your Wagon
… Read More
- Picture of an eye, a yam, f + four-leaf clover + ing
- Soldering iron on door, a la Home Alone
- Write “Virgin-ville. Population: only you, Dave”
- Bouncer
- Leaving door open
- Message on answering machine
- Elaborate Birds/Bees metaphors
- Write “I am
… Read More
- The Second cutest thing, after you
kill the cutest thing
- Kitty riding a Care Bear vomiting
rainbows
- Oscar and Elmo reconciling their
feud
- Really, really cuddly lobsters
- Your daughter’s first pearl necklace
- Bambi, smiling
- Panda hugging a
… Read More
- Smirnoff Ice
- James’ Giant Peach Schnapps
- Budweiser Chewables
- Sex on the Sandbox
- Miller High School Life
- Goodnight Moonshine
- Jungle Gym Juice
- Caprila Sunrise
- One-and-a-half Equis
- Ensign Morgan
… Read More
- “I have to give the alumni what kind of jobs?”
- “Heads. No, tails!”
- “No, Advanced Dungeons and Dragons.”
- “Do I get free DC food with this job? Sweet.”
- “Yes I have, but she was my cousin.”
- “I don’t know, who
… Read More
- “Jesus Christ!”
- “I sure love that Paul Reiser.”
- [Anything not in Aramaic]
- “I still have my foreskin.”
- “My dad could beat up your dad.”
- “Do you think I look fat in this Batman shirt?”
- “And you shall go forth, and
… Read More
- He used to hunt the hunted. Now he is hunted by those he used to hunt.
- Sometimes decapitation is just the beginning.
- He was just an ordinary Joe who spent 20 years in the Green Berets…
- Vin Diesel
- Just when
… Read More
