- Have more than a passingresemblance to Ed Asner
- Your measurements are 36-24-36-2
- Keep accidentally wearing yourthongs backwards
- Your finger isn’t long enough toactivate gag reflex
- Clothes you model keep burstinginto flames
- More penises then generally usual
- Won’t do partial nudity;
… Read More
- My fetus is an honor student at
prenatal academy
- Free China, Stop Tibet
- Keep your nanomachines out of
my Uterus!
- We’re here, we’re queer, we’re 50% of the US Population
- Stop the Dolphins
- Save the Whale
- US out of Eurochinaustralia
… Read More
- Baby GUTS
- Hey Dude, Yeah You, Fucker
- You’re Doing That on Television
- What Would You Do, NAKED?!
- Super Duper Triple Quarduple Dare
- The Fairly Obvious World of
Alex Mack
- Pepe and Pepe
- Wild and Crazy but Medicated Kids
- Clarissa Explains
… Read More
- Knick knack paddy whack, I still got
the biggest sack
- He is I and I am him
- When you dis Dre fool, you dis yourself
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- If it has “Evidence” written on it in
English, hide it in Mexico
- Put it in the Lost and Found
- Wear it as a non-evidence hat
- Pocket of cargo pants
- Throw it at the sun
- Craigslist
- Try to burn it,
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- The Second cutest thing, after you
kill the cutest thing
- Kitty riding a Care Bear vomiting
rainbows
- Oscar and Elmo reconciling their
feud
- Really, really cuddly lobsters
- Your daughter’s first pearl necklace
- Bambi, smiling
- Panda hugging a
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- “You write for the Squelch? I won’t
have sex with you.”
- “I got an A!”
- “I don’t need to have fat friends to
feel good about myself.”
- “Who’s up for a rousing game of
Scattergories?”
- “Why, this
… Read More
- Run the book over your naked body
- Write an equal sign, take a shot
- Pull the Fire Alarm of Knowledge
- Scrape ink off books, snort ink
- Watch Billy Madison 12 times
- Take Grampa’s advice to “wisen up” to heart
- Eat
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- Perhaps… perhaps…
- No
- Yes
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- Doing a Horse
- Making Glue
- Horse Whispering
- Red Bulling
- Getting Neigh’d
- Shafting the Shetland
- Underjockey
- Playing Stud
- Trigger Happy
- Seabiscuitting
… Read More
