- You Are the Walrus
- [Four minutes of Ike Turner rambling incoherently]
- Roxanne (or Whatever Your Name Was)
- Don’t Fear the Reaper, Fear Your Husband
- D-I-S-R-E-S-P-E-C-T
- Baby, You Can’t Drive My Car (No, Really, You Can’t)
- Black Eye of the Tiger
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- “Damn Yolanda, you must be a quantum singularity, because I’m drawn to your black hole.”
- “You’re like a carbon molecule, ’cause every part of me wants to bond with you.”
- “I’m like Schroedinger’s cat, because every time you look at
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- Stand on him and urinate
- Get him a job in Hollywood
- Become international celebrity, get cancer, make baldness trendy
- Read something
- Be a pro-Semite, whatever that is
- Make yarmulkes out of Nazi flags
- Bank
- Vote for someone who isn’t Buchanan
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- Tangerines and Acid Trips, My Battle with Robots
- Super Gook 2005
- Still Better than Creed
- The Yellow Album
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- Susan Sarandon Takes a Dump on This Guy in the Back of a Fiat
- There’s No Dodging Eric Gagne’s Pitcher of Cum
- George Michael’s Coming in His GMC
- Minnie Driver and the Mini Driver
- Mercedes Ruehl Benz Over
- Robert Gouchevrolay
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- One leg at a time
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- Cheating on your ugly girlfriend
- Buying a Toyota Prius and using the gas you saved to burn forests
- Reading to deaf people
- Killing an anti-Pope
- Aborting Hitler
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- Where did the last four hours go?
- Could somebody really get aroused by this?
- How can I harness the awesome power of Immortality Cubes?
- Is “analfisting” one word or two?
- How would Sonic’s marriage to Princess Toadstool really go?
- What
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- You played a retarded guy, but it was a documentary
- Your credit: “Assistant to Mr. Top”
- The title of your movie replaces a word that sounds like “monkey” with the word “monkey”
- “Man’s Head Exploding” flipbook not technically a movie
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