Tag Archives: Matt Loker

We’re Pro-Life!

Let’s face it: death is really trendy right now. With US Weekly regulars like The Pope and 3000 Indonesians dying, kids are all rushing out to the malls to have their feeding tubes removed. But not so fast! Much like … Read More

Words from the Top

Enemy Mine

Everyone needs an enemies list. With all the talk of national disunity and the red/blue divide, I figure this “healing” is just a clever tactic. That’s right, they lull you into a false sense of security, then BAM, Senator Joe … Read More

A Day in the Life of D. West

That Drill Sergeant in Army Camos Who Goes on <i>The Maury Povich Show</i> and Yells at People

10:42 AM: Morning taping of Maury Povich Show. Yelled at 13-year-old hussy
until she tearfully promised to change her ways. Spent further 20 minutes yelling at her tears.

12:04 PM: Lunch break from taping. Yelled at deli worker until he … Read More

Problem Found

President Bush yesterday announced the identity of the new enemy in the War on Terror. “Gypsies,” he said derisively. “Filthy gypsies who would strangle one another for a sheep’s bladder of wine.”

Following Bush’s fireside proclamation, a general was sent … Read More