Berkeley has a long history of civil disobedience and political activism, and it is a shame that some students should be deprived of taking part in proud tradition merely because there is no cause which they feel strongly about. In … Read More
Tag Archives: feature
Omelet, Prince of Denny’s
A Tragedy in Two Cracks
Enter Omelet and Omelet’s Father, a Ghostly Rooster, painted and stuck about with Tongues
Ghost : Be thou aware, Omelet, there is treachery and salmonella afoot.
Omelet : Who art thou, that wandr’st thus amongst my spatulas? Be thou a … Read More
Cliffs Notes: Gin & Juice
THESE NOTES ARE NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR THE ACTUAL SONG OR DISCUSSIONS WITH FELLOW MARGINAL HIPSTERS. STUDENTS WHO ATTEMPT TO USE THEM IN THIS WAY ARE NOT ONLY DENYING THEMSELVES THE PRIVILEGE OF BEING INDOCTRINATED BY CORPORATE MUSIC COMPANIES, BUT … Read More
New Boyscout Merit Badges
Badges?-A!we don’t need no stinking badges! Because we’re no stinking boyscouts. But if we were, these might be some of the merit badges we could strive for:
ALIEN MERIT BADGE
- Abduct human captive and probe them. Successfully drop them back
The Meaning of Humor
Humor affects us all. You wouldn’t be where you are today (sitting there, reading the Squelch, your interest waning) without it. The primary definition of humor given in Webster’s Dictionary is “a normal functioning bodily semifluid or fluid (as the … Read More
History of Valentine’s Day
The Heretofore Unrevealed (and Mighty Interesting)
Many believe that they are already privy to the origin of Valentine’s Day. Although the traditional story of Saint Valentine has its truthful elements, it is by no means the entire story.
The origin of Valentine’s Day is ancient: it … Read More
Eat Shit & Live
An Editorial
Seeing as I’ve just broken up with my longtime girlfriend, 2 years, 8 months, 12 days, (but who’s counting?) it only makes sense that I should welcome our readership to the “Day After Valentine’s Day” issue/installment/docudrama of the Squelch. Ordinarily … Read More
E-mail addresses
The information superhighway is exploding like an unchecked zit. Within the next 2 years, demands on the Berkeley LAN will necessitate UCLink27. With this in mind, and also understanding that a lot of those new e-mail account owners often feel … Read More
Eat Drink Man Woman
Hilbert Muntermeyer was a frustrated man. He had been determined to open his own restaurant since his matriculation into the Des Moines satellite campus of the California Culinary Academy, but was unable to come up with an original idea for … Read More
The Squelch Video Guide
Now that your Valentine’s Day date has already dumped you, you’re going to be spending a lot of long nights alone. Why not alleviate that boredom with a trip to the video store? Here are some lesser known films that … Read More
