Dear Mr. Shakespeare,
Our reviewer has gone over your recent submission, The Complete Works of William Shakespeare. While we feel the work shows great ambition and promise, we regret that we cannot publish it at this time. Enclosed, please … Read More
When Thomas Jefferson’s white descendants and black descendants live together in Monticello, be prepared for life, liberty, and the pursuit of wackiness! Coming this summer, on the WB!
SCENE 1
INT. COURTROOM
JUDGE : After reviewing both parties’ claims to … Read More
Summer approaches, and with it, the end of yet another semester. Some may graduate, some may travel, some may seize the break in classes as the perfect time to give up and drop out. More than any other, this is … Read More
Four Squelch editors and one webmaster set out to test their mental stamina over a 24-hour period under severe unlivable conditions. Those conditions were provided by a Super Kmart, a modern wonder of capitalist endeavor, a superstore the size of … Read More
Home to some 60 inhabitants, all women, Alpha Omicron Pi projects an outward sense of elegance, even respectability. But for those who make their home within its bleak, labyrinthine halls, it is something else altogether.
The air reeks of estrogen … Read More
We’re glad you’ve chosen to join the ranks of the Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) family. This is application is your first step in starting your career as an AirBART bus driver.
Short Answers
Club president Stewart Hamlin brought the meeting to order at approximately 3:20pm, leading the assembly in the RDRC Club anthem. The rendition, while technically competent, was lacking that certain special RDRC pizzazz, and it left this Secretary Supreme less than … Read More
Recently I’ve noticed a tendency for the male species to woo the opposite sex with witty personal anecdotes, clean-pressed clothing, and fine bodily fragrances. In all honesty, as a woman, I must clarify the misinterpreted demands of the female sex.… Read More
Example 1: One-Dimensional space
One dimensional space extends in only two directions. Concepts commonplace in two or even three dimensional space are rendered impossible by the one-dimensional universe, which does not possess the properties necessary for their existence.
Consider the … Read More
Squelch management has agreed to open this space for students to respond to a paid advertisement published in our March edition. As with all non-editorial content, the Squelch Senior Editorial Board does not condone or condemn the sucky views expressed … Read More
