Top Five Things to Do While Waiting in ASUC Bookstore Line

March 1, 1991

Pretend to be security guard and arrest people for buying textbooks they know
they’ll never use
Yell “Fire! Fire! Oh, never mind, it’s just in Nutritional Science.”
Test “human domino” theory
Incite book burning
Reading for first four weeks of class

Top Five New Cafes

March 1, 1991

March 1, 1991

“How does it feel being the nation’s biggest joke?”
“This ‘New World Order’ is your secret plan to take over the universe, isn’t it?”
“Quick– how many houses of congress
are there?”
“Do you feel that cabinet members are envious of your batman costumes?”
“Why is your dad staring at us through the window?”
“What’s your secret for looking so young, Mr. Redford?”
“How much does Barbara pay you to walk Millie?”
“Who is your favorite ‘New Kid on the Block?'”
“Do you get discounts on tours of the White House?”
“What’s the first thing you’re going to say when you meet George Bush?”

March 1, 1991

March 1, 1991

March 1, 1991

March 1, 1991

March 1, 1991

“What do you mean I can’t cancel class just because the A’s lost?”
“I’ll assign your book to my class if you give me that jelly donut”
“I don’t give A’s because that just encourages them to stay.
“Who finished the damn keg?”
“…and of course I made sure there were no copies in the bookstore before I assigned it”
“Party at Tien’s!!”
“So, what’s this ‘curve’ thing?”
“I’ve been feeling much better ever since I failed everybody on the midterm”
“Don’t let me get too drunk. I have office hours in twenty minutes”
“I need about two more slaves- whoops, T.A.s- for my class”

March 1, 1991