- Any girl who is not feeling fresh today
- The Energizer Bunny
- Larry H. Parker
- The Magnavox dog
- Sally Struthers trying to persuade people to feed the children
- The Pizza Hut Bigfoot delivery dork
- Russ from the Lake Edna KFC
- The
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- Gyne-Lotrimin
- Ben-Gay
- Preparation H
- KY Jelly
- Clearasil
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- Write a goofy book about the future, but make everything vague
- Watch Seinfeld reruns when they were new
- Bring back aluminum cans used before recycling was invented and get
rich (Yahoo!)
- Return to the good ol’ days of love and
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- Breathing heavily but you’re the one having a baby
- Asks you to turn your head and hiccup
- Keeps telling you how many merit badges you’re earning
- He’s fondling them with his rectum
- What are the chances the other person in
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- Stay home
- Ride RTD buses (who are we kidding?).
- Transporter beam
- Personal helicopter
- Commute once a week instead of daily
- Telecommute
- Take the Red Line subway (all 3 miles of it!)
- Take the Metrolink and relax in comfort and style
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- Sit on the ASUC steps during school time and mope
- Wear a really ugly hat
- Make smoking gestures and blow in the cool night air
- Clip on bellybutton ring
- Dye your hair yellow/orange
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- What if all these homeless people are
Berkeley graduates?
- What if my senior thesis is politically
incorrect?
- Am I supposed to think “Sylvia” is
funny?
- What if tie-dyes go out of style?
- What if I have an acid flashback during
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- Examathon
- Power flunk
- Deorgasm
- Pukemonger
- Supraflatulence
- Churl finger
- Hellarific
- Unphlegm
- Detenurize
- Snidelicious
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- Will assist colleagues in Big Game brawls
- Can handle a bullwhip
- Will pay for pizza during tenure hearing
- Can consistently bowl over 160
- Isn’t scared to speak out and agree with everyone else on any issue
- Won’t guzzle beer from
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- Hades/ ML Olympus (tie)
- Los Angeles
- Antarctica
- Club Med Bahamas
- Downtown Beirut
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