- Dr. Zaius
- The dead one in my toilet
- Monkey businessmen
- Gieep, the Wonder Twins’ space monkey
- Any monkey in a barrel
- The monkey on my back
- Mickey Dolenz
- Flying Wizard of Oz monkey
- Pygmy monkey
- Howler monkey
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-
Who’s the Chancellor?
-
The Sigma Chi Files
- Walker: Night Safety Patrolman
- Unsolved Mysteries of Dwinelle
- Berdahl in Charge
- Men Behaving Badly, But Don’t Judge!
- Berkeley Hills, 90704
- The Futile Gourmet
- METERMAIDS: in Berkeley
- Just the Tien of Us
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- “Mmmm-bop!”
- “You will now address me as Lord Zoltar.”
- “Office hours will be clothing optional.”
- “There will be no Black Lightening this semester.”
- “Do I look fat.”
- “let’s get ready to rumble.”
- “I believe in teaching openly, so feel free
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- Vaseline’s Day
- Love – is – temporary – but – STDs – are – forever Day
- Relent – to – his – request – for – anal – sex Day
- There’s – good – reasons – why – you’re –
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- Guilt
- Your Mama
- Mother Teresa
- An audience
- Cheese Grater
- Zona Rosa SuperPork burrito
- Greasy Chancellor
- Greasy Bike Chain
- Attitude
- Public Statue
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- Regis Philbin
- Goatee-ectomy
- Mono-Brow reconstruction
- The Jackson Family
- Lee Press-On Goiter
- Love Handle implant
- Female circumcision
- Uvula bifuraction
- Robert Implant
- Ass hair implants
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- Ctrl L, S, and D (gets you high)
- Command E (ejaculates floppy)
- Command P (orders you pizza)
- Command O (brings you Arnold Schwarzenegger)
- Alt Y (Psychoanalyzes you)
- Control U (gets you a domineering spouse)
- Shift command A- (Finish your paper
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- Shaft Goes to the Holyland
- That Bitch Better Have My Money
- Proud Parent of a Gay Son
- The books of Matthew, Mark, Olivia Newton John
- Mighty Morphin Power Apostles
- Jesus’s years as a Grateful Dead roadie by St. Albert Goldman
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- Der Weinerschnitzell
- Pending appeal
- Performed abortions
- Democrat
- Prozac ™
- Infected
- Cunnilingus
- Goat fetish
- Conviction
- Stupid-jerk-boss
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- Swallow.
- Look in the mirror and say, Gee, I’m a glazed donut!.
- Introduce yourself.
- Exit restroom, return to class.
- Tell the officer that it will never happen again.
- Make sure not to leave until letter of recommendation is signed.
- Return
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