- Intelligent life once existed in AAA.
- Next time we should probe Uranus.
- Oatmeal is not, in fact, the right thing to do, nor is it a tasty way to do it.
- Barry Kurtz has herpes. Yes, you, Barry.
- A Martian
Tag Archives: top ten
Top Ten Worst Things About Tabling for the Squelch
- No one takes us seriously.
- Living in constant fear of your soul being damned for eternity.
- Cal-PIRG
- The evil feeling in the pit of your stomach that comes from not defending something by any means necessary.
- Overaggressive falafel vendors.
- Pepper
Top Ten Other Things Given To China
-
The ASUC store
-
Your mom
- That Cal Democrat publication
- MSG
- Pennsylvania Ave. and a get out of jail free card
- Most Flavored Nation status
- Gonorrhea
- Speed 2
- A lovely Jeopardy!<sup>TM</sup> home game
- People’s Park
Top Ten Rejected Names For Upcoming Green Day Album
- Sgt. Billie Joe’s Half-Hearted Futile Sophomore Effort
- Needles Ripped My Flesh
- We’re Rich Now But We Still Dress Like Shit.
- Subverting the Dominant Paradigm – Live!
- Exile On Heroin Addiction Street
- Music To Pierce By
- Our Hair Looks Funny
- Life
Top Ten Failed Business Ventures
- The Heuristic Squelch
- Kipp’s Microbrewery
- Daily Cal
- Newman’s Own Colostomy Bag
- East Germany
- Major League Baseball
- Jason Kidd Condoms
- Grateful Dead Soap Co.
- Berkeley Free Clinic
- Tel Aviv Top Dog
Top Ten Pornos from Antiquity
- Odysseus & the Trojan Whores
- Julius Seize Her
- Gluteus Maximus
- I, Clitoris
- E pluribus unum
- Colossus of Rhodes
- The River Dyx
- Bent Her
- Et tu Boote?
- Oedipus Sex
Top Ten Rejected Smurfs Characters
- Rabbi Smurf
- Disgruntled Artist Smurf
- Foreign Exchange SmYrf
- Lactose Intolerant Smurf
- Nation of Islam Smurf
- Oprahmel
- Inbred Smurf
- Illiterate Smerf
- Existentialist Smurf?
- HIV+ Smurf
Top Ten Alternative Names for Valentine’s Day
- Vaseline’s Day
- Love – is – temporary – but – STDs – are – forever Day
- Relent – to – his – request – for – anal – sex Day
- There’s – good – reasons – why – you’re –
Top Ten Things to Masturbate With
- Guilt
- Your Mama
- Mother Teresa
- An audience
- Cheese Grater
- Zona Rosa SuperPork burrito
- Greasy Chancellor
- Greasy Bike Chain
- Attitude
- Public Statue
Top Ten Rejected Plastic Surgeries
- Regis Philbin
- Goatee-ectomy
- Mono-Brow reconstruction
- The Jackson Family
- Lee Press-On Goiter
- Love Handle implant
- Female circumcision
- Uvula bifuraction
- Robert Implant
- Ass hair implants
