- Offer him a job.
- Kick his dog in the face again.
- Give him a fat wad of old Mexican pesos.
- Make looking like a freak trendy.
- Rip out the safety pin from his nose and say,”not so safe, was it?”
Tag Archives: top ten
Top Ten Songs About Paparazzi
-
She’ll Have Fun, Fun, Fun, ‘Til The Paparazzi Cause her to Die in an Auto Accident
-
You Gotta Fight for Your Right to Paparazzi
- Blood Sugar Sex Paparazzi
- Loddy Doddy, (We Likes to Paparazzi)
- Paparazzi Killed the Radio Star
- Mama
Top Ten Reasons
- Because she’s the president’s daughter
- I needed the money
- She said she was 15
- The comet was approaching
- I’m your mother
- All my friends did jump off the bridge
- I’m fuckin’ wasted (frat boy only)
- Because it’s there
- It’s the
Top Ten Rejected Plastic Surgeries
- Regis Philbin
- Goatee-ectomy
- Mono-Brow reconstruction
- The Jackson Family
- Lee Press-On Goiter
- Love Handle implant
- Female circumcision
- Uvula bifuraction
- Robert Implant
- Ass hair implants
Top Ten Features We’d Like to See on the New Macintosh
- Ctrl L, S, and D (gets you high)
- Command E (ejaculates floppy)
- Command P (orders you pizza)
- Command O (brings you Arnold Schwarzenegger)
- Alt Y (Psychoanalyzes you)
- Control U (gets you a domineering spouse)
- Shift command A- (Finish your paper
Top Ten Books in the Bible You’ve Never Heard of
- Shaft Goes to the Holyland
- That Bitch Better Have My Money
- Proud Parent of a Gay Son
- The books of Matthew, Mark, Olivia Newton John
- Mighty Morphin Power Apostles
- Jesus’s years as a Grateful Dead roadie by St. Albert Goldman
Top Ten Words Not To Use On Your Resume
- Der Weinerschnitzell
- Pending appeal
- Performed abortions
- Democrat
- Prozac ™
- Infected
- Cunnilingus
- Goat fetish
- Conviction
- Stupid-jerk-boss
Top Ten Things to Do After Giving Head
- Swallow.
- Look in the mirror and say, “Gee, I’m a glazed donut!”.
- Introduce yourself.
- Exit restroom, return to class.
- Tell the officer that it will never happen again.
- Make sure not to leave until letter of recommendation is signed.
- Return
Top Ten Homosexualized TV Shows
- Gay Watch
- The Fresh Queen of Bel Air
- Seinfelch
- Squirt Me Brown
- Bosom Buddies
- Lickit Fences
- Sisters
- Back Door Exposure
- Male Models Inc.
- Serving in Silence
Top Ten 1995 XXX Video Rentals
- Hoop Reams
- Cum and Cummer
- A River Runs Through Her
- Ed’s Wood
- The Shawshank Penetration
- Natural Born Jizzers
- Entering the Vampire
- Gulp Friction
- Quiz Ho
- Forrest’s Rump
